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May 23, 2017

This article was originally published on Divorce and Your Money here.

Reddit Divorce: How Can an Online Community Help You during Your Divorce?

The internet is chockful of interesting ways to manage your upcoming divorce. Many avid internet users are reporting that the Reddit Divorce site is filled with the information and support they desperately seek. If you are not familiar with the information contained within these highly ranked pages, you may want to spend a few minutes familiarizing yourself with what you have been missing.

What is Reddit?

Reddit itself is an online community that is centered around sharing the most popular articles, videos, information, and stories on the web. Users are able to rate each item, and the results are then posted on the homepage of the Reddit site. The rankings are based on user voting and the number of shares each story has, as well as more detailed information found in the site’s algorithm.

There is one general area for all of the most popular items, often referred to as the “front page of the internet.” However, many users are also finding the “subreddits” (Reddit’s subcategories) to be filled with useful, highly specific information that helps them in their daily lives. These subreddits cater to specific themes or topics, including a page designed for people going through a divorce. These more specific and intimate categories may have different focuses, such as lending emotional support, giving professional opinions, and sharing personal anecdotes.

How Can Reddit Divorce Help Your Situation?

Many users may be wondering about the value of utilizing these online webpages to process the messy parts of divorce. When it comes to applying information, what is the real value in Reddit Divorce?

1. Online communities can lend anonymous emotional support.

It is no secret that divorce can make you feel like you have been emotionally put through the ringer. If you do not have friends and family who can lend an empathic ear to your situation, spaces like Reddit Divorce can give you the emotional support you need. Utilizing these anonymous message boards and communities to rant about the details of your divorce can serve as a catharsis for the emotional strife in your daily life.

One of the best parts of finding your emotional support through these anonymous communities is the cost: a free message board is significantly less expensive than counseling. On the other hand, it does not give you any professional advice. Reddit divorce is best suited as a safe place or sounding board for you to allow your pent-up frustrations or sadness to flow freely.

It also allows you to hear third-party opinions, which is different than asking for advice from a trusted friend or family member that already knows you and your spouse People who know you in real life may be more tempted to choose sides during the ensuing divorce.

2. Hearing the experience of others can help you make smarter decisions.

Reddit Divorce is full of personal experiences that pertain to divorce. Threads are available for topics ranging from custody arrangements to methods of divorce. Hearing these personal experiences can assist you in making your own decisions. You may find out key details that influence your decision by reading about the experiences or mishaps of others.

For example, you may find out that some methods of divorce tend to be more expensive, or you may discover creative ways to handle your property or custody agreements. Alternatively, it may just give you space to process different feelings and scenarios, as opposed to making decisions based on your emotions. There are plenty of subreddits that directly pertain to specific issues, including custody battles, legal advice, stepparents, and blended families.

Keep in mind that Reddit Divorce is designed to give you the opinions of others. It is not actual legal advice, even if it comes from an attorney. Reddit is a community, not a substitute for hiring your own attorney or seeking legal counsel.

3. Set realistic expectations, based on the experiences of others.

Without having gone through a divorce, it can be difficult to know what to expect next, or even just set realistic expectations about the outcome. Each situation is unique, based your finances, your children, and all of the other factors that have to be factored into a settlement. By hearing personal stories from others (including what they wish they had known ahead of time), you can gain some traction and feel more control over the situation.

Setting realistic expectations is critical for your emotional wellbeing and stability, particularly when it comes to your assets and custody arrangements. This practice allows your expectations to be influenced by reality, and it can help you better prepare for an independent financial future.

Using Reddit Divorce for Support

Reddit Divorce is not designed to replace any actual legal counsel or the professional help of an experienced team of experts. However, this anonymous space on the internet gives you a convenient sounding board for the emotions, ideas, and expectations you have surrounding the impending end of your marriage. When used appropriately, this website can help you better prepare for the rest of the process, and it can show you how to have a healthy future, both emotionally and financially.

Shawn Leamon, MBA, CDFA is the host of the “Divorce and Your Money Show” and Managing Partner of LaGrande Global, with offices in Dallas, New York and Hanover, New Hampshire.

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