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Divorce and Your Money - #1 Divorce Podcast

Visit us at https://divorceandyourmoney.com. Join Shawn Leamon, MBA and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst as he breaks down divorce with practical advice to protect your financial interests. With more than 500,000 listeners and 200 episodes, Divorce and Your Money is the podcast #1 divorce podcast in the nation. Get your questions answered, checklist your way to financial freedom, and safeguard your new future with an expert’s help… because you and your family are worth it.
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Now displaying: Page 7
Apr 7, 2017
 
 

This article was republished by Investopedia here.

At any point in your lifetime, finalizing a divorce can be stressful. But divorcing after the age of 50 comes with its own unique challenges. Those who divorce later in life can find themselves scrambling to secure financial freedom before their anticipated retirement.

In addition, as you advance in age you need to look more towards your estate and making directives for end-of-life care. While it may still be a long way off, making plans now can help you secure both financial freedom for your retirement and peace of mind for the new beneficiaries of your estate. 

1. Create a Budget Geared Toward Retirement

You should always create a new budget before the end of your marriage to account for income changes and the extra expenses that come from living on your own. When you are looking at a divorce that occurs later in life, you will need to create a budget that projects what your living expenses will be - both in the immediate future and once your retirement is official.

How much will you need monthly to comfortably move forward? To be secure on your own, this bottom line may mean working for a few extra years.

2. Boost Retirement Savings With Annual Catch-Up Provisions

Your retirement savings could be cut in half when your divorce is finalized, depending on which state you live in. If your retirement savings do not put you where you hope to be for your soon to be single lifestyle, you will want to contribute a little more money to your retirement accounts.

When you craft your new budget, try to add in a line item that will take advantage of the provisions allowed by the IRS for your retirement savings. Below are the IRS’ catch-up provisions for individuals over the age of 50:

You may also be able to make catch-up contributions to a 403(b), non-SIMPLE 401(k), SARSEP, or governmental 457(b) retirement savings plan. For more details on how much extra you can contribute each calendar year, refer to the IRS or your specific plan.

3. Modify Estate and End-of-life Directives

While you might be hyper focused on your impending retirement, you do not want to forget to make changes to your estate. Alter your living will to exclude your soon-to-be ex from what remains of your single estate. You may want to include children, grandchildren or charitable organizations as the beneficiaries of your remaining retirement savings and assets upon your death.

You also do not want to forget to change your power of attorney. Nothing would be worse than having a medical emergency and only your ex has the authority to make medical decisions on your behalf. While you are visiting your legal representative to make changes to your living will, you will also want to remove your spouse as your power of attorney.

Divorcing later in life can be daunting because of the financial headache involved in reconfiguring your retirement and planning your new estate on your own. However, it is possible to secure your financial freedom even as those items loom large on the horizon. Consider the helpful tips that will put you on the path to independence and a comfortable retirement.

Shawn Leamon, MBA, CDFA is the host of the “Divorce and Your Money Show” and Managing Partner of LaGrande Global, with offices in Dallas, New York and Hanover, New Hampshire.

Apr 7, 2017

Why You Need a Divorce Lawyer

It can be tempting to try to navigate the waters of your divorce on your own. After all, a do-it-yourself divorce is easily the least expensive method of finalizing the end of your marriage—in theory, that is. Trying to complete your divorce on your own can have serious implications for your financial future, especially if you are not considering all future possibilities.

Hiring a divorce attorney in the beginning is an absolute necessity to save you the financial and emotional headache that accompanies a do-it-yourself divorce. Where can you go wrong without a divorce attorney? You absolutely MUST hire a divorce attorney to help you for three main reasons.

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1) Incorrect divorce papers can cost you time and money in the end.

The reality is that most of us do not have the expertise for filing our own legal paperwork. This unfamiliarity can lead to mistakes in determining which documents to complete and how to file them as well as obtaining a court date and managing any potential court proceedings. Many people are now turning to online resources, such as Legal Zoom, for advice on handling their divorce without an attorney. These sites fall short, however, as they do not and cannot cover all regulations for each individual state and circumstance.

Forgetting to file the proper paperwork or missing critical items in your settlement can also lead to added expense with future legal proceedings, leaving you financially strapped in the years ahead. Consider issues involved with alimony and child support. Laws differ from state to state, and these are definitely some of the more complicated aspects of a settlement to negotiate. Most individuals also have a hard time considering the long-term tax consequences of certain financial decisions and divisions regarding your settlement agreement.

Hiring an attorney to assist you will save you money and time in the end. Fortunately, you can even hire an attorney who will “unbundle” your services. If you and your spouse are relatively amicable and good communication is possible, you can sort out most of your divorce on your own. An attorney who unbundles their services can be used just for limited consultations, filing paperwork, or drafting your documents.

Unbundling a full-service divorce attorney can provide the legal assistance you need to file your divorce properly as well as save you money in the grand scheme of things by helping you avoid future court dates and proceedings to correct your mistakes.

2) Getting less than you deserve can hurt your financial future.

State rules differ on how they divide your assets, and not all states believe in splitting marital assets 50/50. You will also need to be aware that not everything is necessarily considered a marital asset. Do you know what you are actually entitled to during your divorce under your state laws?

Sticky situations regarding property that belongs to only one spouse as well as such things as retirement accounts and shared debt can be difficult to divide. If each spouse maintained his or her own property and retirement accounts before the nuptials, it may be difficult to determine what is considered a marital asset in the present situation. Most individuals cannot plan for the long-term tax implications of those divisions, and they lack the insight to know exactly what they could be entitled to receive.

If you get less than you deserve in the settlement now, your financial future is at stake. Hiring a divorce attorney can help you achieve a fair and equitable settlement with everything you are entitled to receive. Taking care of the division of property and assets properly the first time allows you to avoid future legal proceedings (and the costs associated with them) to make corrections.

3) You need to protect yourself from an abusive spouse.

In the case of an abusive situation (whether it is physical, verbal, emotional, or otherwise), you need to do everything you can to ensure your protection. Attempting to negotiate a divorce settlement behind closed doors with an abusive spouse is a recipe for disaster—both for your physical safety and your financial future.

If your marriage is coming to an end due to the behavior of your abusive or bullying spouse, you definitely need to hire a divorce attorney right away. The right attorney can help put distance between you and your spouse to prevent them from manipulating or frightening you into agreeing to an unfair settlement. Without effective communication, you are really putting yourself at risk for having an inequitable settlement that will put for your financial future further at risk.

A bullying or abusive spouse is also likely to seek his or her own attorney. Attempting to navigate your divorce on your own while your spouse has legal assistance does not set you up for success. Should your case make it to trial, it is likely that you will not fare well in the court proceedings on your own.

An attorney can help you think through every situation that could arise in the future that would be affected by your settlement and divorce negotiation. Their emotional distance from a highly charged situation can give you some much-needed perspective to protect yourself from your spouse and get what you are entitled to from what remains a marital asset.

You NEED a Divorce Lawyer

At a minimum, hiring a divorce attorney to provide legal assistance in filing your paperwork is a wise investment for your newly single lifestyle. Attempting to settle your divorce without legal assistance, especially in complicated situations involving alimony or children, can put your entire financial future at risk and cost you more in the long run.

Divorce is a business transaction, and protecting yourself both physically and financially should be a top concern for you. A divorce attorney could be just the ally you need to ensure that you have the emotional distance necessary to fight for all that you are entitled to receive during the divorce process. It is well worth the expense of some minor legal fees to be in the best spot for your financial future.

Do It Yourself Divorce? Don’t.

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Some people think they don’t need to hire an attorney because they don’t have many assets to split, and an attorney is not worth the cost. Many online resources can do the job of attorney, so here are some reasons why you should consider DIY (or “pro-se”) divorce.

Every state has different requirements regrading divorce. You need to follow many specific rules and complete certain forms and documents. If you fail to do so, your divorce may be delayed. Court clerks cannot help you legally in this matter, as they are not attorneys. Some of these forms are very complicated and can be difficult to understand. Online help does not necessarily apply for every state, so this seemingly simple process can end up costing you greatly.

Consider these three financial and legal reasons why DIY divorce can be a bad idea.

  • Not knowing your rights
  • Not considering tax consequences
  • Losing sight of the bigger picture by focusing on short-term matters

Divorce is a complicated process, and you might not be aware of your rights. Each state has varying rules on the amount of alimony and child support that needs to be paid. You could be losing a significant amount of money by following this path. In case of an abusive or bullying spouse, having an attorney by your side can potentially save you from agreeing to a settlement that is not good for you. Don’t take the word of your spouse or use their attorney. Your attorney can protect you, your interest, and make sure you take all legal implications into consideration. Your attorney can also protect you and ensure that you receive what you are entitled to during the divorce process.

The next most important issue is not understanding the financial picture after the divorce, both from a taxation and budgeting perspective. Divorce can have drastic tax implications.

Losing sight of the bigger picture by focusing on short-term things is another drawback of this method. The expression “You can’t see the forest for the trees” often applies in divorce where you can put yourself in a bad position. Professionals can help you, as they have a better perspective and will potentially save you from making a decision you will regret later.

How Do You Choose a Divorce Lawyer Near You?

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A divorce attorney is the single most important individual of your divorce team. Just as a good attorney can get you a good settlement, a bad attorney can hurt your settlement. As divorce is a legal transaction and process, the attorney is in charge during this whole process.

When you think about your divorce attorney, you should know that they will need to know everything about your married life. They will dig deep into details of your marriage and the factors that might have contributed to the divorce. They will have a close and intimate relationship with you during this whole process, which is why it needs to be someone you are comfortable with as you deal with them on a regular basis.

Litigation, Mediation or Collaborative Divorce? 

Before doing anything, you need to take a step back and determine the right process that you might want to pursue for your divorce. These options are litigation, mediation, and collaborative divorce. Once this choice is made, choosing an attorney will become much easier.

Choosing a divorce attorney is a 3-step process.

  1. Make a list of potential candidates.
  2. Interview the candidates.
  3. Select an attorney.

1) Get a Divorce Attorney Near You

Laws can vary greatly, depending on the state where your proceedings are taking place, which is why you need an attorney who is an expert in divorce settlements of your state. The first step in the process is making a list of potential candidates. You can get referrals from friends or family, and the American Association For Matrimonial Lawyers has attorneys listed by state.  You should have at least three, but five or ten would be great.

2) Consider a Free Consultation with a Divorce Attorney 

When you meet with the attorney, you will go through a prescreening process. Once that is done, it is time for the initial consultation session. You can ask such questions as does the attorney regularly represent the husband or the wife? Is the attorney going to handle your case or hand it to a junior associate? What is their likely strategy and timing? You also need to know how much the attorney costs. You need to ask if they have any expertise in your particular case. Your attorney needs to be well versed in the area of your case. You need to ask them about the experts they work with and plan to bring in.

3) Choose the Best Divorce Attorney for You

Once the second stage is over, you can now pick the right attorney for your divorce case. You need to know what you can afford, if they have a friendly personality, did they impress you with their strategy, and if you felt comfortable and were able to get along with them well. You need to use your best efforts in making this critical choice.

Questions to Ask a Divorce Lawyer during the Initial Consultation

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Starting the search for a brand new divorce attorney can be stressful and overwhelming. Just a quick glance through the phone book reveals countless options, but how will you know which attorney is the right one for your divorce? You should know what you are looking for from the very first phone call and know what to expect from your initial consultation meeting. Head into that first meeting educated about what services they can provide and what you believe will work best for your divorce.

A relationship with your attorney is the same as any other business relationship you maintain. Can you work with this person? Do you actually want to work with this person? Making key decisions such as this one at the very beginning of the process is far better than making them six months into your divorce proceedings.

When you are beginning a relationship with a new divorce attorney, here are a few tips for determining if they are the right fit for you:

Is the divorce attorney experienced and persuasive?

When you first meet an attorney, take note of whether or not you feel they have a particularly powerful presence. Are they persuasive enough to represent your interests and persuade the opposing counsel? This character trait cannot be underestimated when you are initiating a business relationship with an attorney. After all, your settlement is uncertain if they cannot convince opposing counsel or a judge of all that you deserve.

Another key characteristic of having a successful divorce attorney and client relationship is their experience level with family law. Ask questions regarding how many years they have been practicing family law, what other trades they serve, and how many divorces they process each year. You are keeping an eye out for an attorney that is highly specialized in family law and divorces, not a “jack of all trades” who dabbles in family law, construction law, and seven other specialties.

The amount of experience they have can be a good predictor of whether or not they have enough knowledge of the laws surrounding divorce to handle your case quickly, efficiently, and ensure that you receive all you are entitled. When they are highly specialized, they should have a greater amount of education regarding the laws and more experience in putting it into practice – both of which are great attributes for you as the client.

You also need to consider their experience and relationship with your spouse’s attorney, if you are privy to who that may be. A hostile relationship between your attorney and the opposing counsel could take the focus off your proceedings and shift it toward their relationship and motives with the other attorney.

How will you interact with them?

Customer service is a critical consideration, beginning with the very first phone call. Is the receptionist polite and informative? Does the attorney return your phone call in a timely manner? Answering either of those questions in the negative could be an indicator that you will not be pleased with the customer service they will provide throughout your proceedings.

Ask what the policy is regarding your communication with them. You should know what days they spend in the office, and what timeframe you can expect them to return your phone calls and emails within. If they spend several days each week out of the office, inquire whether someone else in the office will be well-versed with the specifics of your case in case you have pressing questions when the attorney is not available.

Furthermore, how will they charge for the work and communication that is involved in your case? You should have a detailed account of how the billing rates work, including if they differ among categories such as legal advice, filing paperwork, and making copies. Knowing how they count the minutes that you are in communication with them is an important consideration as well. Does your attorney charge per hour, in fifteen minute increments, or do they tally up each individual minute? The billing schedule can make a substantial impact on what the final bill for your divorce will be.

What service options do they provide?

Entering into an attorney-client relationship, you should already have a fair idea of what you believe you will need for your proceedings. The first question might be whether the attorney or their firm has relationships with other qualified professionals who can assist in trickier situations. Do they have a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, forensic account, mediator, or other attorneys they can consult with in the event of needing outside advice and opinions from specific experts? When your attorney manages close relationships with other trades and services, it is far more convenient for you to reach out for additional assistance if necessary.

You should also inquire whether they offer “unbundled” legal services or mediation. This allows you to cut some of the costs associated with divorce proceedings by only paying for the specific services that you are in need of. Whether you desire just legal advice, someone to help draft and file documents, or whether you need someone to manage all of the proceedings from start to finish, knowing what your options are can be helpful.

This even allows you to determine if you want to make the switch to a more do-it-yourself approach if you see your bill rising faster than you anticipate. This is a good time to begin asking questions about what you can do yourself to speed the process along and save on the costs. Are they open to a more do-it-yourself arrangement with you when it comes to documentation or filing paperwork? Asking upfront can save you money in the end if you decide that you are capable of handling some of these issues on your own.

Come to the initial consultation prepared.

While not a requirement, it does not hurt to come to the meeting prepared with the important documents that you will need to discuss. These could include a selection of recent tax documents, paystubs, bank statements, proof of adultery or abuse, and more. It may even be helpful to have your marriage license and important documents relating to you children (health papers, psychological papers, addresses, etc.).

By bringing all of the additional documentation that you believe is pertinent to your case, you are granting the attorney a clear look at what marital assets and liabilities will need to be divided. What do you have in retirement accounts, real estate, savings, and investments? Looking at the bigger picture may allow them to make clearer determinations of what the next steps and plans might look like.

Before you leave your initial consultation, you should receive some proposed game plan or plan of action from the attorney regarding what they believe the best steps to take are. You will need to evaluate whether you agree with their evaluation, especially if they believe it could end up going to trial. If you believe that your divorce could be settled more amicably (and for less cost), then you might want to reconsider your relationship with this attorney.

Because this is a significant business relationship that you will be a part of for the coming months, you should consider meeting with multiple attorneys if you are not satisfied with the initial consultation. There is nothing wrong with moving back to the drawing board before you commit to an attorney for the long haul. You never know how long your divorce proceedings could last, so be certain that you are satisfied with your attorney’s experience, qualifications, customer service, and cost.

How to Get a Low Cost Divorce Attorney

Divorce can be many things: emotional, messy, frustrating, and stressful. But more than anything else, divorce can be expensive. The price of splitting your life in two could include court costs, attorney fees, financial experts, and therapists.

These expenses may be hard pills to swallow, but they can quickly become detrimental to your financial future if you’re not careful. To protect yourself, you want to ensure that you stay in control of both the process and its price tag. Here are a few things you can do that will minimize the cost of your divorce:

1) Reach Agreements Prior to Meeting with Your Divorce Attorneys

Cutting down on your divorce attorney’s billable hours is one of the easiest ways to save money during a divorce. Rather than hashing things out in front of your divorce lawyers, consider how much you’ll save if you and your spouse are amicable enough to work things out together. Provided that you’re on speaking terms, it’s very likely that the two of you can be successful in negotiating initial agreements.

This phase is a good time to discuss the specific arrangements of your children. Try to come to an agreement about the topics of custody and support. Being their parents, you both need to have their best interests in mind.

By privately drafting a list of negotiations, you could save thousands of dollars in attorney fees.

2) Keep Attorney Correspondences Short and Sweet

Don’t waste your money on communications with your lawyer. Each of those emails and phone calls costs money, but you can lower these costs by keeping correspondences brief. It’s guaranteed that you’ll have questions, but write them all out first. Then call your lawyer and ask all of your questions at the same time.

Your attorney’s receptionist is usually your first point of contact, so see if he or she can answer those questions for you. In addition, when providing information, be direct. But still provide enough detail to avoid back-and-forth emails that can hike up your bill.

3) Hire a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst

You’ve already hired an expensive lawyer. At first, hiring yet another professional may sound counterintuitive to minimizing the cost of your divorce. But when it comes to consulting with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA), the long-term savings ultimately outweigh the short-term costs.

A CDFA will be able to paint you a picture of your financial future. He or she can help you draw up budgets before and after your divorce. A CDFA is trained to know the tax benefits you’ll be able to take advantage of. He or she can assist with the long-term planning that you would otherwise hire a financial planner to do.

4) Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

In many divorces, an excess of time and money is spent on couples squabbling over how to divide up the little things. To avoid this, brainstorm a list of the items you’ll need to settle on. Rank everything on the list by its importance to you. Then next to your rankings, note how your spouse might prioritize each item.

See if there are any proposals you’ll be able to bring to the negotiations. If you agree to let your spouse keep the boat, maybe he’ll let the dog live with you? In the end, drafting a list of your priorities will allow you to know which points you truly want to push for—and which you’re willing to let go of. The less time spent arguing, the cheaper your divorce will be!

Signs That You Might be Getting Screwed by Your Divorce Attorney

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Whether you are far into the divorce process or are just dipping your toe in the water, you likely already know that attorneys are a necessary part of the process. As critical as they may be during the finalization of your divorce, they are professionals who have the potential to profit from your emotions. When your emotions make it difficult to sort out your case, you can quickly see your bill going up.

Unfortunately, when all is said and done, some divorce attorneys may try to manipulate your emotions to score a higher paycheck. Your relationship with your attorney can be compared to relationships with other professionals (e.g., your plumber, your accountant, and even your personal trainer). You hired them to complete a specific job, and you need to manage your relationship with them accordingly.

Want to know how to respond more effectively in each situation? Here are a few items that attorneys tend to focus on:

Warning Sign: Your attorney is not a family law specialist.

Hiring an attorney is a significant investment of your resources, and you will want to hire someone who knows what they are doing in a courtroom. If your attorney seems clueless about family law, you may not get all that you are entitled to during settlement negotiations. Because your divorce decree and settlement are final, it is imperative that you ensure that your attorney is working as hard as they can to get an equitable resolution on your behalf.

How will you know if your attorney is not a divorce specialist? Your attorney could be a “jack of all trades, master at none.” In other words, he or she regularly practices family law, construction law, and personal injury lawsuits. If so, he or she may be lacking the in-depth knowledge and finesse needed to handle divorce cases with the attention, diligence, and education that they require.

Each area of law requires attorneys to stay abreast of upcoming legal changes through continuing education, which is common with most professions. To have the most up-to-date knowledge and expertise that you will need to win, an attorney that claims to have multiple specialties will not be able to comply with all possible continuing education courses. Costly mistakes can occur when your attorney lacks the expertise for completing a routine case or a more complicated divorce.

It might be acceptable for your attorney to have to research a specific question once in a while. After all, nobody knows everything. However, if you find yourself asking general questions and being met with silence or uncertainty, it may be a sign that your attorney is not as well versed in divorce proceedings as you need or want them to be.

Warning Sign: Your attorney wants you to focus on smaller items.

In the end, does it really matter which spouse got the spatula or the serving spoons? Do not allow your attorney to distract you by focusing on items that are of inconsequential value. It could take forever to divide up each item within the household, especially if you have a vast amount of bric-a-brac.

Every item that you and your spouse argue over adds expensive minutes to your attorney’s final bill. The reality is that paying your attorney to split up these insignificant items will likely cost more than those items are truly worth.

Instead, you need to focus on which items are priorities for you. If the dining room table that your great grandfather made has extreme sentimental value for you, make sure to put it on your settlement list. However, if you could care less about the ceramic carafes your spouse uses for coffee, there is no point in arguing about them.

Because attorneys are paid by the hour, the longer you and your spouse spend fighting over trivial items, the more you will both be paying your attorneys. Try to focus on the big picture, and settle amicably with your spouse (if possible). Keeping open, healthy communication with your spouse can allow you to quickly and efficiently divvy up those household items, without costly over-involvement from your divorce attorney.

Warning Sign: Your attorney encourages you to discuss emotional details.

Does it really matter what the last intense argument you had with your spouse was? If the details do not specifically pertain to the case and questions at hand, then they do not need to be discussed with your attorney. Your attorney is not your therapist; he or she is not specially trained to help you sort out any lingering emotional drama that you may be experiencing about the dissolution of your marriage.

When you find yourself recounting the latest episode that proves your spouse’s incompetence, stop immediately. If you find yourself needing to spend those precious, expensive hours with your attorney detailing the drama, it is time for you to consider other outlets for your frustration. Hire a therapist who can help you work through the situation, or head out for a drink with your friends. Either way, it is likely to be both more cost-effective than venting to your attorney.

Warning Sign: Your attorney wants you to go to trial, instead of taking the settlement.

When you and your spouse can reach a reasonable settlement, you might be tempted to sign on the dotted line. However, what happens when your attorney insists that you go to trial? Attorneys will sometimes lobby for this next step because it adds a hefty number of hours onto their final bill. Reaching a reasonable settlement makes going to trial an unnecessary expense.

As we discussed in the first section, amicably sorting out your settlement with your spouse can save you a ton of money. If you can reach an agreement with him or her, you will save money upfront, and you will not be leaving the situation in the hands of a judge (who could rule against you). An amicable resolution could save you a ton of attorney fees and court fees.

Make sure that you understand all of the options available to you. Mediation, collaborative divorce, and settlement are less expensive options than going to trial. If your attorney encourages you to go to trial, but you believe you can settle in less time via one of these other avenues, do not hesitate to speak up for yourself. You should be comfortable voicing your opinion with any professional that you hire. After all, you are the one who issues his or her paycheck at the end of the day.

Warning Sign: Your attorney does not know your case well enough.

Some attorneys can find themselves swamped with too many cases at once. Unfortunately, that means that each individual case suffers. Then it is impossible for them to remember all the intricate details of each client’s unique situation. An inability to remember the details from your specific divorce case can lead to long-term mistakes that you will have to live with.

Without remembering the information you present, they may struggle to help you divide your assets with your spouse, as well as offer legal advice about the best next steps. Also, if they are spread too thin across a multitude of cases, they may have difficulty staying up-to-date with legal changes. They may make mistakes as they struggle to keep up with the amount of work they need to do.

It should be a huge red flag if your divorce attorney continuously asks you the same questions, especially if it pertains to your personal information. Hearing the same questions over and over again indicates that they either did not adequately record the information the first time, or they cannot remember who you are. In either scenario, it could be a sign that your attorney does not know your case well enough, and you should move on to another firm.

Warning Sign: Your attorney does not value relationships.

Under the best of circumstances, divorce is a painful proceeding. Attorneys who do not value relationships can make the experience even more grueling than it already is. Working with them becomes a difficult chore in the midst of emotional turmoil.

Furthermore, they might not just struggling to maintain their relationships with their clients. If divorce attorneys cannot maintain professional demeanors with their opposing counsels, they may be unnecessarily antagonistic. Achieving a settlement or handling negotiations will be a more laborious process, and it could be more time-consuming as well. Keep in mind that attorneys typically charges by the hour. Therefore, the more time your attorney spends negotiating a settlement with his or her opposing counsel, the higher your bill will be at the end of the day.

You need to determine if your attorney falls into this category, but fortunately, it should be apparent rather quickly. When you first enter an office, a cold, unfriendly staff can indicate a poor working environment. If you get the same chilly vibe from the attorney, it is likely a sign that he or she does not value his or her relationships.

What are some other signs? They will likely be difficult to get in touch with— dodging phone calls and rarely replying to emails. If this behavior only occurs once, it simply is an oversight, but if it becomes a pattern, it is a sign that your attorney will not make your business a priority.

If attorneys speak to you in a condescending manner, it is another sign that they do not know how to communicate with others. If they struggle to be respectful and communicative toward you (a paying client), how much worse will it be in the courtroom when they must persuade the opposing counsel and the judge of your proposed settlement?

Remember that Divorce is a Transaction

Do not forget that divorce is little more than a business transaction. As you divide up your assets and finances from your married life, try to keep your emotions surrounding the process from interfering. Take care of yourself as you need to (by venting to friends or hiring a therapist), but do not allow your feelings to sway your decision-making during the divorce process.

The goal is not to make your spouse suffer, but to make sure that you both get an equitable settlement. An attorney can capitalize on the emotional turmoil you are going through, which could cause you to fork over more money than you anticipated. Play it smart; know in advance when you are being manipulated into increasing your attorney’s billable hours.

Your attorney is a professional that you have hired to protect your interests and help you obtain what you deserve during your divorce. You should feel comfortable and confident about speaking your mind and managing the relationship you enacted. You should be in charge of your attorney during your divorce.

Recognize the Red Flags

Your divorce attorney may be waving warning signs right in front of you. If you notice even one of these attributes in their practice, it could be enough to make you consider moving on to another attorney—before you are too far along in the proceedings. Having a subpar divorce attorney can be costly in the end; it may mean that you do not receive all you are entitled to, that they are prone to legal mistakes, or that they will make the overall process more expensive and miserable than it needs to be.

Keep your eyes open and your mind sharp for situations that make you feel uncomfortable. Ultimately, your instincts regarding your divorce attorney will prove correct. Hiring the right attorney can mean the difference between a settlement you are pleased with and a settlement that leaves you disappointed and bitter.

Apr 5, 2017

Divorce is hard, so you should learn how to prepare for a divorce. These 17 divorce tips for men and women will help you.

1) Be Certain You Want a Divorce

Divorce is a last resort and not the only option in an unhappy marriage. Divorce is often expensive, messy, complicated, and painful. Have you exhausted all your options to save your marriage? Divorce does not necessarily solve many of the reasons you may be unhappy. Consider marriage counseling or living apart for a while as an interim solution. If the pain of staying in the marriage is worse than the fear of a single life, then maybe it is time to go. Just be sure you do not regret your decision to get a divorce.

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2) Accept that Divorce is Happening

You are getting a divorce. The vows you made, the life you created, the marriage you had—it is all ending. Divorce is the death of a marriage. You never thought it would happen to you. You are probably experiencing a range of conflicting and confusing emotions, including denial, anger, guilt, sadness, fear, relief, and everything in between. All these feelings are normal under the circumstances, but it is time to step up and prepare for the divorce process.

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3) Hope for the Best, but Prepare for the Worst

Divorce can be unpredictable. Initially, you may think you and your spouse will work things out civilly, but the next thing you know years have passed without any clear resolution, and you have a stack of legal bills. In other cases, you may think you are going to have a lot of conflict with your spouse, but it turns out that both of you want to resolve the process quickly and efficiently. Or maybe you are somewhere in between. Every divorce is unique with its own dynamics, and it is hard to foresee the outcome. While you should be optimistic about getting through the process favorably, prepare yourself for a fight. Even in the best of circumstances, divorce takes twice as long and is twice as expensive as you think it will be. Prepare yourself.

4) Plan for the Cost of Divorce

Divorce can be very expensive. You will need funds to pay for an effective team, which will do their best to assist you in managing the process and securing a financial future for yourself. Before you even consider filing for divorce, you may want to think about setting aside some cash on your own. This money can then be used to cover the cost of retaining an attorney, hiring a certified divorce financial analyst, and enlisting the help of a therapist to work through your own emotional issues surrounding the end of your marriage.

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5) Setup New Bank Accounts and Credit Cards

You may not be able to get rid of your old joint accounts just yet, but you can certainly begin to set up new accounts for your soon-to-be single life. Make sure that you form these new bank accounts and that you transfer some funds into the account. Most notably, you will want to switch any direct deposits from your employer into your individual account.

You should also consider opening new credit card accounts that are only in your name. This tactic can help you build up your own credit for the time when you may need to purchase a new car, get a new mortgage on your own, or encounter any number of other scenarios that require a good credit score. Your credit score will need to reflect that you have the capability to responsibly borrow and repay your loans without the assistance of your spouse.

6) Gather Your Financial Records

Ideally, you will have five years’ worth of documents, including tax returns, payroll stubs, benefits information, bank statements, investment accounts and property information.  Make copies of everything and keep them outside of the house — either in a private safe deposit box or at the home of a trusted friend or family member. Having evidence of all of your financials will help speed up discussions during the divorce, and it will safeguard you in case something goes missing.

7) Inventory Your Assets

While you are gathering your financial records, begin an inventory of all of your assets. Separate property usually includes anything you owned before the marriage, any gifts given solely to you, or inheritances. Anything acquired during the marriage is usually considered marital property.

Take digital, date-stamped photos of your valuables such as jewelry, antiques and collectibles. This may seem extreme now, but it is not uncommon for things to disappear once the process starts.

8) Build a Team of Professionals to Help You

As CEO of your divorce, you need to have a team of specialized professionals to help you navigate the complex process. The three key players are an experienced family law attorney, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA), and a therapist. A family law attorney—the most important person on your divorce team—will help you navigate the legal elements of the case and represent your interests. A divorce financial planner (CDFA) does the math, from helping you complete your all-important Statement of Net Worth/Financial Affidavit to determining the long-term impact of different settlement proposals. A therapist will help you work through your emotions to keep you focused on the big picture.

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9) Set Realistic Goals for Your Future

What do you want after the divorce is over? Do you want to stay in the house or maybe receive (or pay) a certain amount of spousal support? What about custody of children? You need to determine your most important goals for the divorce process and stay focused on the big picture. If you are mired in the little details and start fighting for that coffee mug you got on vacation years ago, you end up racking up expenses and only hurting yourself in the end.

10) Cut Unnecessary Expenses

It is no secret that divorces are costly. From the moment you sense that your marriage is heading in that direction, you need to redraw your budget and determine how you will accommodate not only the expenses associated with divorce, but also for your new, single life. In order to help build your savings, it is likely that you will have to adjust your lifestyle and cut out anything unnecessary.

11) Monitor Your Credit Report

In order to emerge from the divorce as fiscally unscathed as possible, you need to be fully aware of your current financial situation. To paint the clearest picture, obtain a copy of your credit report, paying close attention to any outstanding debts.

If there is anything that does not add up, you will want to ask your attorney for assistance before you ask your spouse for full disclosure of records. Additionally, it is wise to monitor your credit report throughout the divorce process to avoid any surprises later on.

12) Treat Divorce as a Business Transaction where You are the CEO

As cold as it sounds, the difference between marriage and divorce is a piece of paper. While marriage is about love, divorce is about money. As you go through the divorce process, treat it as a business transaction, as the decisions you make will affect you for the rest of your life. Put your emotions aside, and step up as CEO of your divorce. You must make rational decisions regarding dividing property, child custody, and spousal and child support.

13) Keep Healthy and Fit

The bedtime pint of ice cream starts looking very tasty when you are going through a stressful situation. Or maybe you are thinking about dusting off that bottle of vodka or having an extra cigarette. You are sleeping less. Days between visiting the gym become fewer and fewer, and soon you realize that you are gaining weight and feeling extra sluggish. Do not let that happen to you. Divorce is exhausting mentally and physically; one of the best things you can do to lift your mood and reduce stress is by staying healthy. Physical strength can serve as a good foundation for mental stamina. Go to the gym, take a walk, do some yoga, and clean up your diet. Your body—and your mind—will thank you for it.

14) Lean on Friends and Support Groups

Divorce can be a lonely time, but you should know that you do not have to go through the experience alone. Speak with close friends to help you manage the process, and share what you are feeling. Consider joining divorce support groups, such as DivorceCare and Second Saturday, and many churches and religious institutions can also help. Having others by your side makes it easier to get through the dark times and toughest days in one piece.

15) Take Care of the Children

Divorce can have a traumatic effect on children, with repercussions for the rest of their lives. What do you want them to say about your divorce ten or twenty years from now? Learn how to tell your children about divorce, and try to understand what they are seeing from their eyes. They may act out, have falling grades, or exhibit changes in behavior that you need to monitor closely. If you love your children, do everything you can to protect and reassure them during this volatile process.

16) Act Civil with Your Spouse

If possible, be civil with your spouse. Whether by text, email, or in person, try to avoid a high-emotional confrontation with every communication. You are getting divorced for a reason, of course, but it does not mean you should create extra conflict in every possible situation. Even if your spouse is mean, abusive, or unpleasant, when communicating, treat him or her with respect. Tense and unpleasant communication can not only hurt you if you go to court, but it can also lead to much larger legal bills and often add unnecessary complexity to your divorce.

17) Know You Will Make It

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Divorce can feel overwhelming, but you will get through it. Focus on one minute, one hour, or one day at a time. This time in your life will end, even though it may not seem it will at the moment. It is not going be easy, but divorce does not have ruin your life either. Just take one step and then another and another, and those steps will add up, and soon you will be done with the process. You will have the rest of your life ahead of you, and divorce will be in the rearview mirror. You can do it. You will do it. Have faith and believe in yourself.

Apr 5, 2017

This was originally published on Divorce and Your Money here

Divorce is Hard

"I want to make sure that the settlement you sign works for you—not only for the coming years, but for the coming decades.” - Shawn Leamon, MBA, CDFA

During a divorce, you only get one chance to get things right. It is a messy, complicated, difficult process—emotionally, legally, and financially.

At its core, divorce boils down to 3 areas:

1) Dividing property

2) Spousal and child support

3) Child custody

An attorney will help you navigate the complex, confusing family law process. But who helps you make the appropriate financial decisions? It is easy to make costly financial mistakes during the divorce process. That is where a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst comes in.

What is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst?

A Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) helps you and your attorney understand the financial impact of decisions during the divorce process. A CDFA is an experienced financial professional like a financial planner or accountant, who has completed the training, education, and certification process from the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts (IDFA). According to the IDFA, there are more than 5,000 CDFAs in the United States and Canada.

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A CDFA can help you formulate a better divorce settlement agreement by:

1) Making Your Divorce Process More Efficient and Less Expensive

“The longer it takes for your divorce, the more expensive it will be.” - Shawn Leamon, MBA, CDFA

A CDFA can help you collect, organize, and prepare financial information for both you and your attorney and identify which financial information that is most important. You may have considered working through a myriad of financial details with your divorce attorney or (more likely) a paralegal, but generally, neither is a financial expert.

Therefore, you can save time and money on expensive hourly fees by having a CDFA handle routine financial details and many of the critical calculations. For example, A CDFA can help you prepare a marital balance sheet, which is an easy-to-understand summary of your assets and debts. Or a CDFA can help you complete the all-important financial affidavit or statement of net worth, which is required in almost every case.

2) Understanding Tax Consequences of Your Divorce Settlement

“In divorce, it is not what you get, but what you get to keep.” - Shawn Leamon, MBA, CDFA

In divorce, a dollar is not always worth a dollar. The equivalent amount of cash in a bank account is worth more than cash in a retirement account, which is worth more than a home at the same value. Why is that?

Every asset has its own tax liabilities when you use the money. Therefore, if you take money from a retirement account, you may have to pay income taxes and potential penalties for withdrawing the funds. Spousal support has tax consequences, while child support does not.

A CDFA can help you understand how much you get to keep when deciding between different assets.

3) Managing Expectations and Keeping You Focused on the Long Term

“Divorce may be the most important business deal you will ever make.” - Shawn Leamon, MBA, CDFA

Given the high emotions involved when facing the end of your marriage, it is helpful to have a neutral person help you make rational decisions. A CDFA can help you understand different divorce-settlement scenarios, including how they may impact you. They can also help you navigate potentially rash decision-making.

It is easy to want to fight too much or too little, or waste money fighting for something that is unimportant in the long run. A CDFA can help you keep the big picture in mind, so you make decisions that will put you in the best position for your future.

4) Creating a Post-Divorce Financial Plan

“Before you sign that settlement, ask yourself: ‘Can I afford it?’” - Shawn Leamon, MBA, CDFA

One day, your divorce will be over—even if it does not feel like it right now. Before you sign the divorce-settlement papers, are you sure that the agreement will make sense for you in the long term? Many settlements may make sense for the first year or two, but you can find yourself realizing that you made a major mistake later down the line.

A CDFA can help you prevent the worst-case scenario: Just a few years after the divorce, you could be scrambling for money or considering bankruptcy. A CDFA can help protect you from ending up asset-rich but cash-poor. Most of the time, divorce settlements are tough to change, so you must be sure you can afford the settlement when you sign on the dotted line.

What are Certified Divorce Financial Analyst Fees?

Certified Divorce Financial Analyst fees vary depending upon your location, needs and financial complexity of your divorce. Some Certified Divorce Financial Analysts charge an hourly fee, which can range from $150 to $450 per hour. Other Certified Divorce Financial Analysts cost several thousand dollars for more complex cases or when handling a high-stakes or high-asset divorce.

Your Attorney Can Make Costly Financial Mistakes

"Attorneys often tend to feel they have the knowledge and experience to take care of many complex financial matters on their own, even though most do not hold any sort of business degree. This can create costly mistakes for their clients if they do not fully understand the complicated financial concerns at hand.”

Joseph E. Cordell, Partner at Cordell & Cordell (the largest family law firm in the United States)

Your divorce lawyer is essential for advising you about the legal aspects of your divorce. However, most divorce lawyers are not financial experts, and your attorney can make costly mistakes that could end up hurting you for many years after your divorce is over.

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Here are just a few common mistakes divorce lawyers can make:

1) Errors dividing investment accounts

Investment accounts are one of the most complicated financial assets in the world. There are hundreds of thousands—if not millions—of different investment options. After a decade of exclusively working in the financial services industry, there are some areas that I still find complex.

How can you expect someone who studied law to make the proper decisions about investments and finances for you? Numerous times, I have seen even the highest-rated family law attorneys make easily preventable mistakes when dividing investments during divorce.

For example, a common mutual fund may come with risks that your attorney may not consider as you negotiate with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. Is the money in a taxable or tax-deferred account? Is there is a high-portfolio turnover in the fund? In other words, is there frequent buying and selling of the investments associated with it?

If the answer is yes to any of the above questions, there could be a large, unexpected tax liability that you will not discover until the end of the year. Furthermore, there are hundreds of different strategies and structures of mutual funds, so you should be very selective about which ones you fight to keep.

What if you are thinking about keeping an individual stock? Do you know its cost basis? If you sell the stock, the cost basis will have a huge impact on calculating future taxes. If the stock is a big portion of your overall assets, do you know how to hedge it or diversify the risk? Regarding stocks, there are some incredibly complex considerations, and many books are dedicated solely to this subject. Taking the word of your family law attorney—or worse yet, your spouse— without getting specialized help could be an expensive mistake.

Are you trying to split a hedge fund or private-equity fund? Do you even know what these assets are? Be very careful. Many of these funds cannot be sold for up to 10 years. Therefore, if you need the money, you could find yourself in a tough financial position.

2) Failing to search for hidden assets

You may have suspicions that your spouse is hiding money from you. Sometimes it is obvious, but other times it can be difficult to tell. When your marriage is on the rocks, it is a very common for money to start disappearing.  If you and your spouse own a business, then hiding money becomes much easier.

Given the financial complexities of identifying red flags, many divorce attorneys often inadequately search for hidden assets (secret money that you may be entitled to receive). Your spouse may transfer money to friends, report lower income or higher business, create fake or inflated debts, withdraw money in cash and hide it, overpay the IRS and keep the refund, or mislead you about the value of assets.

Since finding hidden assets may require you to employ a forensic accountant or private investigator, it is complicated, and it could be expensive. That said, failure to examine this kind of misdeed could cost you a lot of money.

3)  Neglecting to secure support payments with insurance

What happens if your spouse unexpectedly stops making support payments (child or spousal) because they die or become disabled? These payments may be an essential income source for you, and a sudden loss of them could cause a host of financial complications.

Many attorneys fail to advise this cost-effective way to protect you: getting insurance to make support payments should the unforeseen happen. The specific implementations can take many forms, but if you are the beneficiary of the policy, you will be protected.

However, you should make sure you own the policies, and that any premium payments are kept current. Otherwise, you will find yourself at a loss when you need the funds.

Conclusion: A CDFA can help level the playing field during divorce.

Attorneys handle the law, while financial experts handle the math. Divorce is a legal transaction with important financial implications for your future. Although your attorney is an expert in your state’s laws, they are not necessarily a financial expert. In fact, most attorney’s service agreements will have you disclaim any financial responsibility. Therefore, if your attorney discourages you from hiring a CDFA, that is a red flag.

A CDFA can serve an essential addition to your divorce team, regardless of whether or not you are going through litigation, mediation, arbitration, or a collaborative divorce process.  As The Wall Street Journal identified, a CDFA can help "watch out for tax snafus, help clients obtain health insurance after a split, and demystify tough-to-value private-equity or hedge-fund investments.”

If you have any financial questions or considerations, consider hiring a CDFA to help you.

Shawn Leamon, MBA, CDFA is the host of the “Divorce and Your Money Show” and Managing Partner of LaGrande Global, with offices in Dallas, New York and Hanover, New Hampshire.

Apr 5, 2017

This was originally published on Divorce and Your Money here

Divorce can easily become one of the most tumultuous, stressful times in your life—emotionally, physically, and financially. During a divorce, emotions can range from relief to devastation.

There is no wrong way to feel when it comes to the end of your marriage, but you must remain vigilant about staying focused during the entire process. Particularly in the very beginning, you might miss out on key items that could ensure future financial stability –because you let your emotions clouded your viewpoint.

To take control of the situation early on, making preparations is one of the most significant things you can do. Whether you plan to meet with a divorce attorney or a certified divorce financial analyst, you should have all of your critical documents in order. A good divorce financial planner will tell you to get your paperwork together before you file for divorce.

How do you know what you should prepare? To make sure you are gathering everything you may need, a divorce checklist is below. And to ensure that you have all of the most critical documents on hand, it is broken into manageable pieces.

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Divorce Financial Checklist Documents

It will be more difficult for a divorce financial planner to get an accurate idea of your marital money matters without having the pertinent information. Keep in mind that these professionals are specifically trained to help you navigate a successful settlement and secure a financially stable future. Without all of the relevant data to review, you could miss out on your share of significant assets, investments, or accounts.

You will need to keep in mind that documents should cover your long-term history, not just the most recent transactions. The gold standard is to cover five years’ worth of data with your documentation. Perhaps this information is unavailable, or the marriage did not survive this long. If so, three years’ worth of data should suffice to help your team assemble a settlement that you will be satisfied with.

Which financial documents are the most important to put together first? The divorce financial checklist will give you the most thorough rundown of the most commonly requested items:

  • Income Tax Returns
    • Personal tax returns
    • Partnership and corporate tax returns
    • W-2 forms
    • 1099 forms
    • K-1 forms
    • Amendments to returns
  • Employment Records
    • Pay stubs
    • Benefits information
  • Financial Records
    • Bank statements
    • Monthly expense reports
    • Investment properties and rental (or lease) agreements
    • Financial statements prepared for banks or loans
    • Loans or other forms of debt (including mortgage information)
  • Prenuptial or postnuptial agreements
  • Investment Account Statements
    • Brokerage accounts
    • Money market funds
    • CDs
    • Mutual funds
    • Other investment accounts
  • Information about Retirement Savings Accounts
  • Wills and Trust Agreements

Personal Records

Your financial information is not the only consideration that a divorce financial planner will need to take into account. Your personal data, including significant details regarding your marriage and any children involved, can also assist the planner with helping draft an appropriate settlement that all parties will be satisfied with.

One of the most important steps to take before divorce is to understand what each person in the marriage brought to the union. Take a look at the checklist below to get an idea of the important documents you need to round up for your divorce attorney or divorce financial planner:

  • Date of marriage
  • Date of birth and social security numbers for you and your spouse
  • Date of birth and social security numbers for any involved children
  • Information on previous marriages, including divorce decrees
  • List of property acquired before and during your marriage
  • Insurance policies
    • Life insurance
    • Car insurance
    • Homeowners insurance
    • Annuities
    • Other types of policies
  • Personal property (including jewelry, artwork, collection, and antiques) acquired before or during your marriage
    • Appraisals
    • Invoices
    • Contracts
    • Safety deposit boxes and their contents
  • Judgments and pleadings that either spouse was party to

Want to listen to this episode on your mobile device? Just use one of the following links:  iTunes | Google Play Music | RSS Feed or click on the episode player above.

Want to listen to this episode on your mobile device? Just use one of the following links:  iTunes | Google Play Music | RSS Feed or click on the episode player above.

Final Divorce Settlement Checklist

Before you consider heading to your divorce attorney to initiate the end of your marriage, it is critical to be prepared for what happens afterward. By following these steps before filing for divorce, you will gain some sense of control over an otherwise emotionally charged and draining situation.

This divorce checklist will help you assemble documentation at your own pace. Then you will be ready for whatever your divorce financial planner may need. In addition, gathering up documents to prove and support your current marital financial situation allows you to more adequately prepare for your future.

By completing an accurate assessment of your lifestyle, income, and expenditures, a divorce financial planner can help you prepare for your future as a newly single individual. If you utilize this divorce financial checklist, you will more clearly see what you could be entitled to during your divorce (with a greater degree of accuracy).

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Are you about to make costly financial mistakes?

Do not allow emotions to cloud your judgment. Let a divorce financial planner examine your documentation. He or she can assist you with a fair, reasonable settlement and secure your financial future.

We offer 1-on-1 financial coaching services to help you analyze the financial issues you are facing. Attorneys are experts at the law, but many end up making serious financial mistakes that you may regret for the rest of your life. All you have to do is visit us at www.divorceandyourmoney.com/coaching to learn more!

Do you want to download this divorce checklist in pdf? Just click here.

Find this information helpful? Share it with someone who needs it.

Shawn Leamon, MBA, CDFA is the host of the “Divorce and Your Money Show” and Managing Partner of LaGrande Global, with offices in Dallas, New York and Hanover, New Hampshire.

Apr 5, 2017

What is a financial affidavit?

Preparing for divorce requires you to gather, organize and prepare a lot of financial information. Your attorney, spouse, spouse’s attorney, and judge are all going to want to know what your lifestyle was like during your marriage.

One of the first documents you will complete as part of the divorce process is a financial affidavit. It may also be called a statement of net worth or financial disclosure statement, depending upon your state. Some states even have "short form" and "long form" versions of the financial affidavit, depending on the complexity of your situation.

The financial affidavit is one of the most important financial documents you must complete during divorce. Filling it out properly is complex and confusing, and it takes many, many hours.

The financial affidavit is a summary of your entire financial life, usually spanning the course of a year. It includes all your sources of income, expenses, assets, and debts. It sounds easy, until you realize that a financial affidavit can ask you about 20 different types of income, 150 different expenses, and many details you may have forgotten about.

On top of that, financial affidavit forms are created by courts. In other words, judges and lawyers contain a lot of jargon, and they are not usually very user-friendly.

Not only do you have to accurately complete this complex form, you must legally swear that the financial affidavit is correct. If your ex-spouse, attorney, or judge questions an item on your financial affidavit, you must provide proof that it is correct. So if any detail is inaccurate or missing, it can hurt your divorce case.

The stakes are high for the financial affidavit. It serves as the basis for splitting your property, determining spousal and child support, and calculating everything financial in your divorce. It serves as a crucially important snapshot of your financial life, so you must take the financial affidavit seriously.

What documents do you need to prepare?

Completing a financial affidavit can feel overwhelming, so you need to prepare as much information in advance as you can. And you need to get your essential documents organized. You will start needing to gather income tax returns, employment records, banking and credit card statements, home information, and many other personal details.

To help keep you organized, I have prepared The Ultimate Divorce Checklist. You may not have looked at this information for many years, so it could take a few days to gather it. Just remember to keep everything organized.

How do you fill out a financial affidavit?

Since it is usually only a few pages long, the financial affidavit can seem straightforward. But as you dig into each individual line item, you will realize that financial affidavits are incredibly detailed. So they can feel overwhelming.

The first step to completing a financial affidavit is making sure you have the proper form. Consult your attorney, or check the family law section of your county courthouse’s website. Make sure you have the right one! That way, you can avoid having to complete this complicated document multiple times.

When you first look at your state’s form, do not rush while you are filling information in. Give it an initial review by reading through it. Get a feel for the key elements involved. It will start with basic questions about you, your spouse, and your children.

As you begin to further investigate the form, you will see questions about every imaginable source of income, all your expenses, the value of every asset, and a list of all your debts. Make notes regarding any items you may have questions about or do not understand.

Below is an in-depth review of each of the sections of the financial affidavit.

The income section is usually the most important.

Since spousal and child support payments are usually determined based on the incomes of you and your spouse, the income section of the financial affidavit is crucial. While income seems straightforward on the surface, it can be very complicated.

Let us start with salary or wages. While determining your income, it may be tempting to just look at your most recent paystub and multiply it by 52 weeks. Unfortunately, it usually is more complicated than that, so you may need to ask some additional questions.

For example, does your financial affidavit ask for gross income (before taxes) or net income (with all taxes taken out)? Do you get paid 24 or 26 times per year? Do you receive a bonus? What about overtime? Commissions or tips?

What taxes are taken out of your current pay stub, and is that amount consistent for the full year? For example, social security taxes are only paid on a certain amount of income – approximately the first $118,500. If you make more than that, you may need to adjust your calculations.

Employment is only one type of income. For example, the Illinois financial affidavit asks about:

  • Salary/wages/base pay
  • Overtime
  • Commissions
  • Tips
  • Bonus
  • Pension and other retirement benefits
  • Annuity
  • Interest income
  • Dividend income
  • Trust income
  • Social security
  • Unemployment benefits
  • Disability payments
  • Worker's compensation
  • TANF and SNAP
  • Military allowances
  • Investment income
  • Rental income
  • Partnership income distributions and draws
  • Royalty income
  • Educational funds
  • Maintenance
  • Child support for children of this relationship
  • Child support for children not of this relationship
  • Gifts of money

Therefore, your income alone requires 25 different line items. You must calculate every type of income involved, and you need to have the relevant documentation to prove what you provide if questions arise. While you probably will not have every type of income, you do need make sure that every number is in the right place and calculated correctly.

Expenses are often the most complicated to calculate.

There are thousands of everyday expenses for the average person. Unless you use a full-time bookkeeper, categorizing and tracking every expense can be a nightmare.

To start, you will need everything related to your home, including the mortgage, utility bills, repairs, or renovations. Then you will likely need to list all the expenses related to transportation, including gas, parking, and repairs. After that, list all your personal expenses, including groceries, meals at restaurants, and travel. Then come the medical bills, including insurance payments. And you cannot forget about your kids.

Just look at this image from the New York financial affidavit form, which they call a statement of net worth):

 
 

Even though every state varies, it is a good representation of how you should prepare for the financial affidavit. Do you have every item organized?

It is very easy to make mistakes. For example, did you pay with cash or a credit card? If you paid with cash, do you have a receipt to prove that the expense exists? Do you pay your bills on a monthly, bimonthly, or yearly basis?

What about one-time, annual, or seasonal expenses that slip through the cracks? For example, you should remember to include annual snow removal.

It can feel overwhelming, but you can do this.

Unfortunately, you are not done with the financial affidavit section yet. Even though just completing the income and expenses section can feel overwhelming, try not to panic. The best approach is focusing on one item at a time. This is even the tactic I use when helping clients complete their financial affidavits. Trying to complete the whole document at once is nearly impossible.  Pick one expense, for instance, the mortgage, and fill out that line item.

Make sure you have the documentation to support the number you place on your document. Put it in a binder or folder, and move onto the next line item. Even though you may have to review 100+ different items, if you knock out each item one-by-one, you will complete a lot more than you realized.

If you want individual help completing the Financial Affidavit, I can help you. All you have to do is click here.

Assets: All the Stuff You Own

The financial affidavit will ask you to list all your property that has significant value, such as bank accounts, cars, houses, jewelry, businesses, and investments. You will need to know two things about your assets: when the items were acquired, and what they are worth.

The date you acquired an asset is very important for determining whether property is considered separate or marital. Depending on your state, assets obtained before your marriage can sometimes be considered separate property, so they are not subject to divisions during divorce. It may sound complex, but the time that you obtained an asset can have a big impact on how it is classified.

The value of assets is very important. Cash in a checking account is easy to calculate, but other items can get more complicated. Has your home been recently assessed by a certified appraiser? If not, you may need to get one. An online appraisal will not suffice. What value do you use for cars? Expensive jewelry or collectibles can require specialized appraisals as well.

When completing your financial affidavit, include every valuable you can think of. More information is better than less. Your attorney can always tell you to remove or modify certain assets, but failing to include something can cause you to be accused of hiding assets. And during divorce, withholding information can come with steep penalties. If you do not disclose it, that collection of Beanie Babies could come back to haunt you.

Debts: Everything You Owe

For a highly detailed, complex form, the debt section is usually one of the easiest to complete, except for the part that involves facing your outstanding bills. Debts include things like credit cards, student loan debts, mortgages, and other loans. For most people, simply looking at a recent copy of your credit report can provide a good overview of your debts. You will also need to gather the most recent account statements for each debt, so you have the most up-to-date information.

However, everything will not show up on your credit report. If you have a personal loan, an outstanding bill, or a loan on an investment account, they generally will not appear on your credit report unless they are in collection. You will need to list these debts and make sure you have the proper documentation for each one.

Putting it All Together: A Sanity Check

If you have made it this far, you have finally completed the first draft of your financial affidavit. Congrats!

Now it is time to add everything up and conduct a “sanity check.” You need to forget about individual line items for a moment. Instead, make sure the whole picture makes sense.

Is your income greater than your expenses? If your expenses are much larger than your income, you will need to explain how that is possible. Are you taking on a lot of debt? Is there unreported income somewhere? Did you miscalculate anything?

Do any numbers jump off the page as being really high? Everything depends on your location and lifestyle during your marriage. For example, a person in New York City can easily spend thousands of dollars per month eating out in restaurants. But if you live in a smaller town or suburb, you probably will not.

Did you list all your assets? Forget any debts? Did you count anything twice? Or fail to count something? If your name is on your account, you must report it. You are not necessarily going to lose the asset, and it may not even be relevant during the settlement negotiation. But trying to hide something can cause more harm than good.

Having a 3rd party like a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst review your financial affidavit can be helpful. Then you can make sure there are no major mistakes.

Now what?

Give it to your attorney. In most cases, they will only give a cursory review of your financial affidavit. Barring egregious errors, they will not check it for mistakes. Rather, they will take your word for what is listed. So make sure everything is correct.

Checking Your Spouse’s Financial Affidavit

Both you and your spouse will complete your state’s financial affidavit. If you live in different states, you will complete the financial affidavit in the state where you file for divorce. You and your attorneys will swap financial affidavits with each other, so you can both review them.

When you receive your spouse’s financial affidavit, you need to make sure that everything looks correct. In my experience, there are almost always discrepancies or missing information on one spouse’s financial affidavit. And if you have been living apart for a while, there may be a lot you do not know about your spouse’s financial life.

Here are some areas to check as you review your spouse’s financial affidavit:

Is the income section of the correct? A spouse can use subtle tricks to hide or underreport income, such as masking contributions to a retirement plan or excluding the payment of a bonus. When you look at a spouse’s total income, you need to make sure that all the benefits are included, and nothing is missing. It should match your lifestyle and expectations.

If your spouse was a business owner, you may want to collect the business’ tax returns and have an accountant go over them. In a business, many expenses and deductions can be used, which may affect their income levels, including how things are reported. Anytime your spouse owns or operates a business, things could easily go missing.

Do the assets and debts make sense? The value of the assets may not be accurate. States differ on the ability to calculate the value of an asset, so be aware of your state’s laws. Make a list of questions to review with your attorney, such as for anything that looks incorrect or raises suspicion.

If your spouse makes mistakes on the financial affidavit, they may just be sloppy, rather than malicious. But either way, you should protect yourself. Take the time to review their information.

Want more help completing your Financial Affidavit?

The financial affidavit is one of the most important documents in divorce, as it serves as the basis for negotiating your settlement. Any mistakes on your form or your spouse’s form can come back to haunt you during the divorce process – or worse yet – later in life.

Unfortunately, completing a financial affidavit can feel like a mind-boggling task – a gathering all your financial records, looking at hundreds of different types of expenses, assets, and debts, then swearing that a legal form is correct.

On top of that, you may not have been directly involved in the family finances for many years. So you simply do not know where to start.

Your attorney is not a financial expert. Most lawyers will not or cannot help you complete the financial affidavit. If they do, it can end up costing you thousands of dollars in legal fees, before even getting to the negotiations in your divorce case. Therefore, you should consider hiring a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA).

A CDFA is an expert at reviewing issues with the financial affidavit, so they can identify potential mistakes or pitfalls on the form. They can evaluate every line item on a financial affidavit and help you successfully complete the form. You can learn more about getting individual help here. You will receive greater financial expertise, and it is much more cost-effective to hire a CDFA than completing a financial affidavit alone or asking your attorney to.

The financial affidavit is the most important document in your divorce, so make sure you complete it properly.

 

Find this information helpful? Share it with someone who needs it.

Shawn Leamon, MBA, CDFA is the host of the “Divorce and Your Money Show” and Managing Partner of LaGrande Global, with offices in Dallas, New York and Hanover, New Hampshire.

Apr 4, 2017

This was originally published on Investopedia.com. Click here to see the original article.

Getting your affairs in order is the first critical step toward having a successful end to your marriage. Unfortunately, many people become quickly overwhelmed at the sheer volume of tasks they must accomplish before divorce. Here is a short guide to some of the first financial steps you need to take:

1) Gather up all pertinent documentation.

You will need to have a clear picture of your marital finances. To accurately portray your financial situation, it helps to have clear documentation of the lifestyle you and your spouse had together. Before you head to any appointments with an attorney or other members of your divorce team, ensure that you have copies of some of these important documents: (For more, see: How to Manage Your Finances Through a Divorce.)

  • Tax documents
  • Home and mortgage information
  • Loan applications
  • Bank statements
  • Credit card statements
  • Investment account statements
  • Retirement savings account information

2) Take inventory of your marital possessions.

Take a good look at the assets you and your spouse own jointly, which can include homes, cars, art, and collectibles. When taking inventory of your marital assets, don’t forget to consider retirement savings accounts, investment accounts, and other various types of property. You should also know the overall income that you and your spouse brought into the household each year. For example, tax documents should help prove the annual income levels for the year.

Having a good inventory of your marital possessions and assets is crucial for getting what you are entitled to. It is difficult to negotiate a settlement without information regarding what to divide up or sell. Even the most effective mediator or divorce attorney will not be able to get you a fair settlement without understanding the full financial picture of your marriage.

3) Prepare for the cost of divorce.

Divorce can be very expensive. You will need funds to pay for an effective team, which will do their best to assist you in managing the process and securing a financial future for yourself. Before you even consider filing for divorce, you may want to think about setting aside some cash on your own. This money can then be used to cover the cost of retaining an attorney, hiring a certified divorce financial analyst, and enlisting the help of a therapist to work through your own emotional issues surrounding the end of your marriage. (For more, see: Get Through Divorce With Your Finances Intact.)

4) Set up new bank accounts.

You may not be able to get rid of your old joint accounts just yet, but you can certainly begin to set up new accounts for your soon-to-be single life. Make sure that you form these new bank accounts and that you transfer some funds into the account. Most notably, you will want to switch any direct deposits from your employer into your individual account.

You should also consider opening new credit card accounts that are only in your name. This tactic can help you build up your own credit for the time when you may need to purchase a new car, get a new mortgage on your own, or encounter any number of other scenarios that require a good credit score. Your credit score will need to reflect that you have the capability to responsibly borrow and repay your loans without the assistance of your spouse.

5) Get acquainted with your credit report.

Taking charge of your credit is a crucial element to securing your future financial freedom. Good credit is a standard requirement for everything from personal loans to mortgages.

You are entitled to one free credit report each year, which can easily be obtained online.  Become familiar with the items that are included in your reports, and keep an eye out for unfamiliar loans and transactions. You are responsible for any account that has your name on it, even if it is shared with your spouse.  Identifying accounts early can help to manage your debts post-divorce.

Preparing in advance saves money later.

While there are no fixed rules regarding the timing of completing these five necessary tasks, it is better to finish them sooner rather than later. If your affairs are in order prior to filing for divorce, your spouse cannot make it more difficult to obtain copies of the documentation you desperately need. In the case of a narcissistic or bullying spouse, you may find it incredibly hard to gain access to records that you need once the divorce process has been set in motion.

Without all your information and affairs in order, you may not be able to negotiate a settlement that is fair or that helps secure your financial future. If you follow through on the completion of these five essential steps, it can make a huge difference in the overall outcome of your divorce settlement. (For more, see: Divorce Planning Checklist: What You Need to Know.)

Shawn Leamon is the host of the “Divorce and Your Money” podcast and managing partner of LaGrande Global, with offices in Dallas, New York and Hanover, New Hampshire.

Apr 4, 2017

This article was republished by Investopedia here.

During your divorce proceedings, the division of assets goes beyond household income and bank account holdings. To fairly divide the funds accumulated throughout your marriage, the funds placed in 401(k) accounts will come up as well. Every state has its own specific protocol, but you can confidently head into this process by thoroughly understanding the way courts strive to fairly divide these retirement account holdings for each spouse.

1. Determine Marital vs. Separate Property

The first task in the division of 401(k) accounts is identifying the amount of funds placed in the accounts during the marital period. Funds placed in these accounts prior to the marriage are usually not considered assets eligible for distribution to both parties in the divorce. In general, assets owned by either spouse before the marriage, including 401(k) funds, are considered separate property. However, if you have any 401(k) accounts with contributions made after you were married, you will likely be dividing those funds as part of the marital pie.

2. Calculate the Division of Shared Assets

The state you live in will determine the way your overall assets are divided during the divorce proceedings. In community-property states, the 401(k) funds that qualified as marital assets will likely be split 50/50 between both parties. However, in equitable-distribution states, the judge may split the assets differently because they are looking at the entire picture (although the main goal remains the equal division of assets).

Now is the time to identify all other shared assets that qualify for division between you and your spouse. You do have some leeway in negotiating the way the assets will be divided, if your spouse agrees with the plan. (For related reading, see: Divorcing? The Right Way to Split Retirement Plans.)

3. A Qualified Domestic Relations Order Finalizes the Split

In addition to obtaining a properly completed divorce decree, your lawyer—or an expert retained by your lawyer—must fill out and submit a qualified domestic relations order regarding your retirement account. This document indicates that the account must be split according to the divorce order.

Upon approval by the judge and account administrators, your name will be added on the 401(k) as an additional payee. Since this document finalizes the agreements made prior to it, it must be filed with the court to confirm and enact the distribution plan.

Final Thoughts

With the above steps, you should be able to claim the retirement assets during the divorce that are owed to you. Taking the time to appropriately navigate through the distribution of 401(k) plans that were established during your marriage will help protect your financial future. To avoid serious financial repercussions at the finalization of your divorce, you can work with a trusted advisor. Then you will be sure you have completed each vital step.

Find this information helpful? Share it!

Shawn Leamon, MBA, CDFA is the host of the “Divorce and Your Money Show” and Managing Partner of LaGrande Global, with offices in Dallas, New York and Hanover, New Hampshire.

Mar 30, 2017
“One of the easiest things to do is get a camera system installed for the outside of the home. Record everything that’s going on.” - Trip Elix
 
Are you worried your spouse may be spying on you? Sometimes, regardless what you try to do, it seems like your soon-to-be-ex spouse knows just a little bit too much information about what’s going on in your life.
 
In this episode we interview Trip Elix, a former hacker, published author and privacy expert. Trip will surprise you with just how much information companies have about you — and how easy it is for a spouse to track your every movement. This is a great episode that you do not want to miss!
 
We barely scratch the surface with Trip, so be sure to check out his myriad of resources.
 
Website: http://www.tripelix.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tripelix/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/trip_elix
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/trip-elix-67354889/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCM3ac9bLmAsT7aqnWJEN2zw
 
Thank you for listening to the Divorce and Your Money Show. Visit us at www.divorceandyourmoney.com for 1-on-1 coaching. If you enjoyed the show, please take a moment to leave a review on iTunes, as it will help other people discover this free advice.
Mar 21, 2017
"The clients are in control of the [collaborative divorce] process and we’re just there as sherpas…We’re guides and just providing education and information.” - Tonya Alexander
 
What is Collaborative Divorce? It’s a divorce process that doesn’t rely on the "scorched earth" practices of traditional divorce litigation. In this episode we interview Tonya Alexander, a Collaborative Attorney and Mediator based in Oregon. Tonya will explain why collaborative divorce may make sense for you, as it can save substantial time, money and emotional heartache. This is a great episode to check out for everyone weighing their options in divorce.
 
For more information, you can learn more about Tonya Alexander here: 
 
Website: http://yourpeacefulresolution.com
Great Resources: http://yourpeacefulresolution.com/forms-and-handouts/
 
Thank you for listening to the Divorce and Your Money Show. Visit us at www.divorceandyourmoney.com for a full transcript of this episode, 1-on-1 coaching and be sure to check out the NEW courses Steps to Take Before Divorce and How to Get a Divorce without Losing Everything.
 
If you enjoyed the show, please take a moment to leave a review on iTunes, as it will help other people discover this free advice.
Mar 16, 2017

Divorcing a Narcissist is Hard

Have you ever thought that your soon-to-be ex might be a little self-centered? There may be more truth to the statement than you ever thought possible. Unfortunately, divorcing a narcissist — even a self-proclaimed one — is one of the most challenging topics for an impending divorce.

Roughly 6% of all individuals in the United States will be diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders published by the American Psychiatric Association, there’s such a thing as being too preoccupied with your own self-interests.

This manual establishes set guidelines and symptoms used by professionals in the diagnostic assessment of patients for Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Here are a few of the criteria that people must meet to earn this label:

  • Having an exaggerated sense of self-importance
  • Expecting to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it
  • Exaggerating achievements and talents
  • Having a preoccupation with fantasies regarding success, power, brilliance, beauty, or the perfect mate
  • Believing that they’re superior and can only be understood by (or associate with) equally special people
  • Needing constant admiration
  • Possessing a sense of entitlement
  • Expecting special favors (and having an unquestioning compliance with those expectations)
  • Taking advantage of others for personal gain
  • Lacking compassion or willingness to recognize needs and feelings of others
  • Envying others and believing that others envy them
  • Having an arrogant or haughty manner

The list of formal criteria to receive this diagnosis is relatively lengthy. In many cases, your spouse may present some, but not all, of the symptoms listed above. But the question remains: How do you deal with your divorce when your spouse tends to behave like a narcissist?

Why a Narcissist Makes Divorce Difficult

The unfortunate part of being married to a narcissist is that you already know how controlling and manipulative they can be. Your spouse may truly believe that they’re a victim in every situation, which leads them to act without compassion or regard for your feelings.

Their victim mindset may bring about other unpleasant behaviors as well. Bullying is likely to be a key tactic that your spouse will cling to, especially as you move towards settlement negotiations. Their sense of entitlement and arrogant attitude leaves them feeling justified in requesting more than their fair share of your marital assets.

Reaching an agreement with an uncooperative, entitled spouse can be extremely frustrating and challenging. But if you give into their unreasonable demands, you could find yourself on financially shaky footing for the future. It becomes even more important to assemble a team of experienced communicators and negotiators, especially when your spouse knows how to manipulate a situation.

How to Effectively Handle a Narcissist

Prepare your paperwork.

Before proceeding, make sure that you have access to every bank statement, asset statement, and documentation regarding investment income. Any information available about your current financial situation should be closely reviewed and filed away in case you need it. A narcissistic spouse has the potential to be extremely controlling. They may restrict your access to pertinent documentation after you file for divorce.

Having all of your paperwork organized and available is critical to help your Certified Divorce Financial Analyst or divorce attorney realistically view your financial status. Then you can help them create a fair settlement to get you all that you are truly entitled to.

Find the right divorce attorney.

When dealing with an uncooperative, narcissistic spouse, you need a divorce attorney that has strong communication skills. If your case ever reaches trial, they should have the ability to persuade a judge of your right to marital assets.

An attorney who is lacking in communication skills may also allow a narcissistic spouse to bully them. If your attorney is unable to convince the judge or stand up for your rights during the settlement negotiations, it could cost you the security of a firm financial future. As a result of their poor negotiation and communication skills, you will not receive all that you are entitled to.

Be prepared for the additional expense associated with hiring the best divorce attorneys and teams in your area. Their advanced skillset and knowledge can significantly cost more than an inexperienced or ineffective divorce attorney.

Take care of your emotional health.

Divorce is rarely a pleasant experience, but when your spouse struggles with a narcissistic personality disorder, it can be incredibly taxing on your emotional and mental health. One of the first steps in successfully divorcing your narcissistic spouse is hiring a therapist to help you sort through your own issues, including those stemming from emotional, verbal, or physical abuse inflicted by your spouse.

By taking responsibility for your emotional health, you can gain a feeling of control over the tumultuous times that surround you. You will be better prepared to head into your settlement negotiations and divorce proceedings with a greater sense of calm and preparation.

Divorcing a narcissist is possible.

Divorce is already hard, but divorcing a narcissist makes the entire process even more difficult. You need to take the appropriate amount of time to prepare yourself for the challenge before you file for divorce. Advance preparation is key to maintaining a feeling of control and balance as new situations arise throughout the process.

By preparing your paperwork, hiring the best team, and taking care of your emotional health, you are setting yourself up for success to handle the additional challenges that this unique situation can present. Be sure you are ready to fight for your financial future and freedom from a narcissistic, overbearing spouse.

 

Find this information helpful? Share it with someone who needs it.

Shawn Leamon, MBA, CDFA is the host of the “Divorce and Your Money Show” and Managing Partner of LaGrande Global, with offices in Dallas, New York and Hanover, New Hampshire.

Mar 16, 2017

This was originally published on Divorce and Your Money here

Divorcing a Narcissist is Hard

Have you ever thought that your soon-to-be ex might be a little self-centered? There may be more truth to the statement than you ever thought possible. Unfortunately, divorcing a narcissist — even a self-proclaimed one — is one of the most challenging topics for an impending divorce.

Roughly 6% of all individuals in the United States will be diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders published by the American Psychiatric Association, there’s such a thing as being too preoccupied with your own self-interests.

This manual establishes set guidelines and symptoms used by professionals in the diagnostic assessment of patients for Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Here are a few of the criteria that people must meet to earn this label:

  • Having an exaggerated sense of self-importance
  • Expecting to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it
  • Exaggerating achievements and talents
  • Having a preoccupation with fantasies regarding success, power, brilliance, beauty, or the perfect mate
  • Believing that they’re superior and can only be understood by (or associate with) equally special people
  • Needing constant admiration
  • Possessing a sense of entitlement
  • Expecting special favors (and having an unquestioning compliance with those expectations)
  • Taking advantage of others for personal gain
  • Lacking compassion or willingness to recognize needs and feelings of others
  • Envying others and believing that others envy them
  • Having an arrogant or haughty manner

The list of formal criteria to receive this diagnosis is relatively lengthy. In many cases, your spouse may present some, but not all, of the symptoms listed above. But the question remains: How do you deal with your divorce when your spouse tends to behave like a narcissist?

Why a Narcissist Makes Divorce Difficult

The unfortunate part of being married to a narcissist is that you already know how controlling and manipulative they can be. Your spouse may truly believe that they’re a victim in every situation, which leads them to act without compassion or regard for your feelings.

Their victim mindset may bring about other unpleasant behaviors as well. Bullying is likely to be a key tactic that your spouse will cling to, especially as you move towards settlement negotiations. Their sense of entitlement and arrogant attitude leaves them feeling justified in requesting more than their fair share of your marital assets.

Reaching an agreement with an uncooperative, entitled spouse can be extremely frustrating and challenging. But if you give into their unreasonable demands, you could find yourself on financially shaky footing for the future. It becomes even more important to assemble a team of experienced communicators and negotiators, especially when your spouse knows how to manipulate a situation.

How to Effectively Handle a Narcissist

Prepare your paperwork.

Before proceeding, make sure that you have access to every bank statement, asset statement, and documentation regarding investment income. Any information available about your current financial situation should be closely reviewed and filed away in case you need it. A narcissistic spouse has the potential to be extremely controlling. They may restrict your access to pertinent documentation after you file for divorce.

Having all of your paperwork organized and available is critical to help your Certified Divorce Financial Analyst or divorce attorney realistically view your financial status. Then you can help them create a fair settlement to get you all that you are truly entitled to.

Find the right divorce attorney.

When dealing with an uncooperative, narcissistic spouse, you need a divorce attorney that has strong communication skills. If your case ever reaches trial, they should have the ability to persuade a judge of your right to marital assets.

An attorney who is lacking in communication skills may also allow a narcissistic spouse to bully them. If your attorney is unable to convince the judge or stand up for your rights during the settlement negotiations, it could cost you the security of a firm financial future. As a result of their poor negotiation and communication skills, you will not receive all that you are entitled to.

Be prepared for the additional expense associated with hiring the best divorce attorneys and teams in your area. Their advanced skillset and knowledge can significantly cost more than an inexperienced or ineffective divorce attorney.

Take care of your emotional health.

Divorce is rarely a pleasant experience, but when your spouse struggles with a narcissistic personality disorder, it can be incredibly taxing on your emotional and mental health. One of the first steps in successfully divorcing your narcissistic spouse is hiring a therapist to help you sort through your own issues, including those stemming from emotional, verbal, or physical abuse inflicted by your spouse.

By taking responsibility for your emotional health, you can gain a feeling of control over the tumultuous times that surround you. You will be better prepared to head into your settlement negotiations and divorce proceedings with a greater sense of calm and preparation.

Divorcing a narcissist is possible.

Divorce is already hard, but divorcing a narcissist makes the entire process even more difficult. You need to take the appropriate amount of time to prepare yourself for the challenge before you file for divorce. Advance preparation is key to maintaining a feeling of control and balance as new situations arise throughout the process.

By preparing your paperwork, hiring the best team, and taking care of your emotional health, you are setting yourself up for success to handle the additional challenges that this unique situation can present. Be sure you are ready to fight for your financial future and freedom from a narcissistic, overbearing spouse.

 

Find this information helpful? Share it with someone who needs it.

Shawn Leamon, MBA, CDFA is the host of the “Divorce and Your Money Show” and Managing Partner of LaGrande Global, with offices in Dallas, New York and Hanover, New Hampshire.

 

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Subscribe to the Divorce and Your Money Podcast, trusted by over 50,000 people across the United States.

Mar 9, 2017

What is a financial affidavit?

Preparing for divorce requires you to gather, organize and prepare a lot of financial information. Your attorney, spouse, spouse’s attorney, and judge are all going to want to know what your lifestyle was like during your marriage.

One of the first documents you will complete as part of the divorce process is a financial affidavit. It may also be called a statement of net worth or financial disclosure statement, depending upon your state. Some states even have "short form" and "long form" versions of the financial affidavit, depending on the complexity of your situation.

The financial affidavit is one of the most important financial documents you must complete during divorce. Filling it out properly is complex and confusing, and it takes many, many hours.

The financial affidavit is a summary of your entire financial life, usually spanning the course of a year. It includes all your sources of income, expenses, assets, and debts. It sounds easy, until you realize that a financial affidavit can ask you about 20 different types of income, 150 different expenses, and many details you may have forgotten about.

On top of that, financial affidavit forms are created by courts. In other words, judges and lawyers contain a lot of jargon, and they are not usually very user-friendly.

Not only do you have to accurately complete this complex form, you must legally swear that the financial affidavit is correct. If your ex-spouse, attorney, or judge questions an item on your financial affidavit, you must provide proof that it is correct. So if any detail is inaccurate or missing, it can hurt your divorce case.

The stakes are high for the financial affidavit. It serves as the basis for splitting your property, determining spousal and child support, and calculating everything financial in your divorce. It serves as a crucially important snapshot of your financial life, so you must take the financial affidavit seriously.

What documents do you need to prepare?

Completing a financial affidavit can feel overwhelming, so you need to prepare as much information in advance as you can. And you need to get your essential documents organized. You will start needing to gather income tax returns, employment records, banking and credit card statements, home information, and many other personal details.

To help keep you organized, I have prepared The Ultimate Divorce Checklist. You may not have looked at this information for many years, so it could take a few days to gather it. Just remember to keep everything organized.

How do you fill out a financial affidavit?

Since it is usually only a few pages long, the financial affidavit can seem straightforward. But as you dig into each individual line item, you will realize that financial affidavits are incredibly detailed. So they can feel overwhelming.

The first step to completing a financial affidavit is making sure you have the proper form. Consult your attorney, or check the family law section of your county courthouse’s website. Make sure you have the right one! That way, you can avoid having to complete this complicated document multiple times.

When you first look at your state’s form, do not rush while you are filling information in. Give it an initial review by reading through it. Get a feel for the key elements involved. It will start with basic questions about you, your spouse, and your children.

As you begin to further investigate the form, you will see questions about every imaginable source of income, all your expenses, the value of every asset, and a list of all your debts. Make notes regarding any items you may have questions about or do not understand.

Below is an in-depth review of each of the sections of the financial affidavit.

The income section is usually the most important.

Since spousal and child support payments are usually determined based on the incomes of you and your spouse, the income section of the financial affidavit is crucial. While income seems straightforward on the surface, it can be very complicated.

Let us start with salary or wages. While determining your income, it may be tempting to just look at your most recent paystub and multiply it by 52 weeks. Unfortunately, it usually is more complicated than that, so you may need to ask some additional questions.

For example, does your financial affidavit ask for gross income (before taxes) or net income (with all taxes taken out)? Do you get paid 24 or 26 times per year? Do you receive a bonus? What about overtime? Commissions or tips?

What taxes are taken out of your current pay stub, and is that amount consistent for the full year? For example, social security taxes are only paid on a certain amount of income – approximately the first $118,500. If you make more than that, you may need to adjust your calculations.

Employment is only one type of income. For example, the Illinois financial affidavit asks about:

  • Salary/wages/base pay
  • Overtime
  • Commissions
  • Tips
  • Bonus
  • Pension and other retirement benefits
  • Annuity
  • Interest income
  • Dividend income
  • Trust income
  • Social security
  • Unemployment benefits
  • Disability payments
  • Worker's compensation
  • TANF and SNAP
  • Military allowances
  • Investment income
  • Rental income
  • Partnership income distributions and draws
  • Royalty income
  • Educational funds
  • Maintenance
  • Child support for children of this relationship
  • Child support for children not of this relationship
  • Gifts of money

Therefore, your income alone requires 25 different line items. You must calculate every type of income involved, and you need to have the relevant documentation to prove what you provide if questions arise. While you probably will not have every type of income, you do need make sure that every number is in the right place and calculated correctly.

Expenses are often the most complicated to calculate.

There are thousands of everyday expenses for the average person. Unless you use a full-time bookkeeper, categorizing and tracking every expense can be a nightmare.

To start, you will need everything related to your home, including the mortgage, utility bills, repairs, or renovations. Then you will likely need to list all the expenses related to transportation, including gas, parking, and repairs. After that, list all your personal expenses, including groceries, meals at restaurants, and travel. Then come the medical bills, including insurance payments. And you cannot forget about your kids.

Just look at this image from the New York financial affidavit form, which they call a statement of net worth):

 
 

Even though every state varies, it is a good representation of how you should prepare for the financial affidavit. Do you have every item organized?

It is very easy to make mistakes. For example, did you pay with cash or a credit card? If you paid with cash, do you have a receipt to prove that the expense exists? Do you pay your bills on a monthly, bimonthly, or yearly basis?

What about one-time, annual, or seasonal expenses that slip through the cracks? For example, you should remember to include annual snow removal.

It can feel overwhelming, but you can do this.

Unfortunately, you are not done with the financial affidavit section yet. Even though just completing the income and expenses section can feel overwhelming, try not to panic. The best approach is focusing on one item at a time. This is even the tactic I use when helping clients complete their financial affidavits. Trying to complete the whole document at once is nearly impossible.  Pick one expense, for instance, the mortgage, and fill out that line item.

Make sure you have the documentation to support the number you place on your document. Put it in a binder or folder, and move onto the next line item. Even though you may have to review 100+ different items, if you knock out each item one-by-one, you will complete a lot more than you realized.

If you want individual help completing the Financial Affidavit, I can help you. All you have to do is click here.

Assets: All the Stuff You Own

The financial affidavit will ask you to list all your property that has significant value, such as bank accounts, cars, houses, jewelry, businesses, and investments. You will need to know two things about your assets: when the items were acquired, and what they are worth.

The date you acquired an asset is very important for determining whether property is considered separate or marital. Depending on your state, assets obtained before your marriage can sometimes be considered separate property, so they are not subject to divisions during divorce. It may sound complex, but the time that you obtained an asset can have a big impact on how it is classified.

The value of assets is very important. Cash in a checking account is easy to calculate, but other items can get more complicated. Has your home been recently assessed by a certified appraiser? If not, you may need to get one. An online appraisal will not suffice. What value do you use for cars? Expensive jewelry or collectibles can require specialized appraisals as well.

When completing your financial affidavit, include every valuable you can think of. More information is better than less. Your attorney can always tell you to remove or modify certain assets, but failing to include something can cause you to be accused of hiding assets. And during divorce, withholding information can come with steep penalties. If you do not disclose it, that collection of Beanie Babies could come back to haunt you.

Debts: Everything You Owe

For a highly detailed, complex form, the debt section is usually one of the easiest to complete, except for the part that involves facing your outstanding bills. Debts include things like credit cards, student loan debts, mortgages, and other loans. For most people, simply looking at a recent copy of your credit report can provide a good overview of your debts. You will also need to gather the most recent account statements for each debt, so you have the most up-to-date information.

However, everything will not show up on your credit report. If you have a personal loan, an outstanding bill, or a loan on an investment account, they generally will not appear on your credit report unless they are in collection. You will need to list these debts and make sure you have the proper documentation for each one.

Putting it All Together: A Sanity Check

If you have made it this far, you have finally completed the first draft of your financial affidavit. Congrats!

Now it is time to add everything up and conduct a “sanity check.” You need to forget about individual line items for a moment. Instead, make sure the whole picture makes sense.

Is your income greater than your expenses? If your expenses are much larger than your income, you will need to explain how that is possible. Are you taking on a lot of debt? Is there unreported income somewhere? Did you miscalculate anything?

Do any numbers jump off the page as being really high? Everything depends on your location and lifestyle during your marriage. For example, a person in New York City can easily spend thousands of dollars per month eating out in restaurants. But if you live in a smaller town or suburb, you probably will not.

Did you list all your assets? Forget any debts? Did you count anything twice? Or fail to count something? If your name is on your account, you must report it. You are not necessarily going to lose the asset, and it may not even be relevant during the settlement negotiation. But trying to hide something can cause more harm than good.

Having a 3rd party like a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst review your financial affidavit can be helpful. Then you can make sure there are no major mistakes.

Now what?

Give it to your attorney. In most cases, they will only give a cursory review of your financial affidavit. Barring egregious errors, they will not check it for mistakes. Rather, they will take your word for what is listed. So make sure everything is correct.

Checking Your Spouse’s Financial Affidavit

Both you and your spouse will complete your state’s financial affidavit. If you live in different states, you will complete the financial affidavit in the state where you file for divorce. You and your attorneys will swap financial affidavits with each other, so you can both review them.

When you receive your spouse’s financial affidavit, you need to make sure that everything looks correct. In my experience, there are almost always discrepancies or missing information on one spouse’s financial affidavit. And if you have been living apart for a while, there may be a lot you do not know about your spouse’s financial life.

Here are some areas to check as you review your spouse’s financial affidavit:

Is the income section of the correct? A spouse can use subtle tricks to hide or underreport income, such as masking contributions to a retirement plan or excluding the payment of a bonus. When you look at a spouse’s total income, you need to make sure that all the benefits are included, and nothing is missing. It should match your lifestyle and expectations.

If your spouse was a business owner, you may want to collect the business’ tax returns and have an accountant go over them. In a business, many expenses and deductions can be used, which may affect their income levels, including how things are reported. Anytime your spouse owns or operates a business, things could easily go missing.

Do the assets and debts make sense? The value of the assets may not be accurate. States differ on the ability to calculate the value of an asset, so be aware of your state’s laws. Make a list of questions to review with your attorney, such as for anything that looks incorrect or raises suspicion.

If your spouse makes mistakes on the financial affidavit, they may just be sloppy, rather than malicious. But either way, you should protect yourself. Take the time to review their information.

Want more help completing your Financial Affidavit?

The financial affidavit is one of the most important documents in divorce, as it serves as the basis for negotiating your settlement. Any mistakes on your form or your spouse’s form can come back to haunt you during the divorce process – or worse yet – later in life.

Unfortunately, completing a financial affidavit can feel like a mind-boggling task – a gathering all your financial records, looking at hundreds of different types of expenses, assets, and debts, then swearing that a legal form is correct.

On top of that, you may not have been directly involved in the family finances for many years. So you simply do not know where to start.

Your attorney is not a financial expert. Most lawyers will not or cannot help you complete the financial affidavit. If they do, it can end up costing you thousands of dollars in legal fees, before even getting to the negotiations in your divorce case. Therefore, you should consider hiring a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA).

A CDFA is an expert at reviewing issues with the financial affidavit, so they can identify potential mistakes or pitfalls on the form. They can evaluate every line item on a financial affidavit and help you successfully complete the form. You can learn more about getting individual help here. You will receive greater financial expertise, and it is much more cost-effective to hire a CDFA than completing a financial affidavit alone or asking your attorney to.

The financial affidavit is the most important document in your divorce, so make sure you complete it properly.

 

Find this information helpful? Share it with someone who needs it.

Shawn Leamon, MBA, CDFA is the host of the “Divorce and Your Money Show” and Managing Partner of LaGrande Global, with offices in Dallas, New York and Hanover, New Hampshire.

Mar 2, 2017

This was originally published on Divorce and Your Money here

When it comes to a property settlement, having a trust fund can make for a sticky financial situation. Divorce forces spouses to consider every asset that can be counted as part of their union. 

A trust fund (also just called a trust) is a legal entity that holds property for another person or group of people. The property is financial in nature, consisting of any combination of cash, stocks, bonds, property, or other products that hold value to the beneficiary. The contents of the trust are placed by the grantor with a trustee (a person or legal entity charged with the responsibility of responsibly managing the account).

In many cases, a trust fund is designed to release the finances when a specific event happens, such as a death. Other possible scenarios include trust funds created for one specific purpose, such as paying for college or buying a home.

Why Do Trusts Exist?

In the end, trusts really exist to make sure that funds are responsibly, appropriately managed at the proper time. Many people set up a trust fund to keep money safe, and they set it aside until a specific time, like when their grandchildren turn 18. These situations are relatively common for passing wealth along to future generations at a time when they’re deemed responsible enough to manage finances on their own.

Trusts can also exist to ensure that certain funds will be used in a specified manner with the help of a third-party trustee. Commonly, you will find a trustee that is responsible for managing the finances of these affairs, or issuing checks on behalf of the beneficiary for a set purpose like college.

Generally speaking, trusts are ultimately designed to appropriately manage funds. They may be structured to allow annual income releases or one-time payments for certain expenses. The specific details about why each trust is created are solely between the person creating it and the person it is bestowed upon.

Are Trusts Considered Separate or Marital Property?

As is the case in many issues regarding divorce, trusts can be considered separate or marital property depending upon the laws of your individual state. There is no cut-and-dry precedent for whether a trust could be determined to be a separate or marital property.

Most often, this issue hinges on the specific terms of the trust involved. If the terms are clear that the money was gifted to only one spouse, it is typically considered to be separate property. It becomes even more likely that a trust will be counted as separate property when the trust was bestowed prior to the beginning of a marriage.

When it comes to the terms of your trust fund, ambiguity could lead to the entire account being counted as marital property. It may seem unreasonable when it was created to provide income and inheritance for just one spouse. But in order to claim your trust as separate property, the terms must be clear.

Prenuptial and postnuptial agreements can also contribute to how your trust will be counted in a settlement. If the trust fund was to be counted as combined property after the union was official, it could be equally divided between both spouses in a settlement.

The Terms of the Trust Are Important in Divorce

If the terms of your trust are ambiguous, you must consider a few other things prior to heading into your settlement agreements. Trusts could be factored into any potential alimony or support payments, which you are ordered to pay through the court. Many individuals who have access to a trust fund could have serious financial implications regarding their monthly obligation to their spouses and dependents.

A trust could also be counted as an income or asset during a property settlement. Without clear instructions and terms spelled out for the trust, it could be counted as one of these two items. In this type of scenario, it could lessen what you would otherwise be entitled to—in terms of dividing the marital assets.

Gain Control of Your Trust in Divorce

When you think that your marriage could have a rocky end, it is critical to ensure that the terms of your trust are completely clear. To ensure that there is no ambiguity when it comes to identifying your trust as separate property, have a lawyer review the details in the event of a future divorce.

Likewise, you should try to keep those trust funds separate from any major purchases that the two of you make as a married couple. If major portions of the trust fund are used to purchase items that become marital assets, it becomes even more unclear whether the trust fund should be counted as separate or marital property.

Set up prenuptial or postnuptial agreements that include information about the trust fund. These agreements can help protect your financial interests, and they can be referred to in court, should a divorce make it to trial. Putting measures in place to protect yourself gives you the best possible chance of success at securing a financially stable future for yourself. Your trust fund was created to give you more financial freedom to improve your life, so make sure that it stays in your hands — not your ex-spouse’s.

 

Find this information helpful? Share it with someone who needs it.

Shawn Leamon, MBA, CDFA is the host of the “Divorce and Your Money Show” and Managing Partner of LaGrande Global, with offices in Dallas, New York and Hanover, New Hampshire.

Feb 28, 2017

This article was originally published on Nerdwallet. See the original article here.

By Shawn Leamon

Learn more about Shawn on NerdWallet’s Ask an Advisor

The marital home is many couples’ most valuable asset, so deciding what to do with it during divorce can be difficult. You and your soon-to-be ex have two basic options: sell the home, or one of you stays in it. If you stay, there are two ways to handle the mortgage.

Each option has pros and cons, so you’ll have to weigh what’s right for you carefully.

Sell the home and pay off the mortgage

If you sell your home and pay off your mortgage, you can put both behind you. You can also use the profits to pay down other shared debts. However, if your home appreciated substantially while you owned it, you might owe capital gains taxes on the proceeds.

And depending on the state of your local housing market, you might not be able to sell your home for a profit. If you still owe a balance on your mortgage after the sale, you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse will need to decide how to best pay it off, unless the bank approves a request to release you from liability.

» MORE: How to sell your house

One spouse keeps the home

Perhaps you want to retain some sense of normalcy for your kids, or you have an underwater mortgage. If selling your home isn’t the ideal solution, one of you might want to take it over, along with the mortgage payments. Here, you (or your soon-to-be ex) have two ways to approach this choice.

REFINANCE

If you refinance the mortgage, the new home loan will be in your name only with new terms based on your creditworthiness alone. The interest rate and monthly payments on a refinance could become more expensive. Your ex might need to sign a “quitclaim deed,” which would remove his or her property rights.

KEEP THE MORTGAGE

You can also try to assume the existing mortgage without refinancing. In other words, you remove your ex’s name but keep the same loan terms. If you go this route, the lender will still need to determine your individual creditworthiness.

In this case you would also need a quitclaim deed; otherwise your ex-spouse would still have rights to the home. For instance, in the event of the sale, he or she would be entitled to a portion of the proceeds. More importantly, as a practical matter, almost no bank would allow one person to assume a mortgage without also having sole ownership of the home.

The ease with which this can be done varies. Sometimes it can be done for a few hundred dollars. In some cases, such as with expensive homes in restrictive condo buildings, it can cost tens of thousands of dollars.

Know your options

It can be tough to keep a clear head during this emotional, tumultuous time, but you should still be making rational decisions about your finances. Understanding your options can help you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse make the right financial decisions.

Shawn Leamon is the host of the “Divorce and Your Money” podcast and managing partner of LaGrande Global, with offices in Dallas, New York and Hanover, New Hampshire.

Feb 23, 2017

During your divorce, you may find the discovery process to be probing and invasive. Entering the process prepared with realistic expectations can be comforting and give you some semblance of control throughout the process. Be aware that the discovery process is not designed to make the turmoil of divorce more painful for you on a personal level. It is intended to allow your attorney to be prepared for whatever may come next—whether that means a trial or settlement negotiations.

The discovery process provides you with proof and evidence in situations where there are contested issues. Discovery allows spouses to request information from one another and additional parties throughout the divorce process. It can also be used to determine assets, income, and debts among other things. These can be critical to help put together a realistic picture for your trial or settlement negotiations.

What do you need to know to make your discovery process as painless as possible? Here are three keys to ensuring that you have a successful discovery process:

Discovery becomes necessary when communication is not clear.

Divorce can cloud communication when emotions are running high. This lack of communication can make the discovery process necessary, allowing attorneys to handle what you and your spouse are unable to communicate to one another.

When headed for trial, the discovery process is particularly imperative to assist the attorney in preparing for various arguments, situations, and accusations that the opposing counsel could present. It allows them to put together a comprehensive picture of all your income, assets, and expenses to see the status of your current finances.

The discovery process can give you a clearer financial picture, allowing you to make wise decisions for the future. Knowing where you and your spouse stand financially allows you to think ahead and get what you are entitled to during your settlement negotiations or trial.

Know what you can ask for during discovery.

The discovery process typically entails four major types of documentation that attorneys can request from your spouse or other parties. Understanding what those documents are can help you and your attorney construct a better case.

  • Interrogatory: This type of document lists questions that require your spouse to answer with facts regarding their interpretation of specific events. Your attorney could use a standard form with routine questions, or they may create unique questions that pertain to your particular situation. Be aware that the number of questions that you can ask during this process is limited.
  • Requests for reproduction: In a request for reproduction, both spouses must provide access to documents pertaining to contested issues in the divorce case. This could include tax returns, income statements, bank statements, receipts, photographs, and more.
  • Request for admission: A request for admission asks you or your spouse to admit or deny facts relating to your divorce. Unlike an interrogatory that allows them to answer open-ended questions, a request for admission is more like a “yes” or “no” answer.
  • Deposition: Depositions are more formal than interrogatories, involving a sworn statement transcribed by a court reporter. These scripts count as evidence during your trial, if necessary. This type of situation can also give your attorney an opportunity to see your spouse on the stand before a trial.

Begin to consider what documentation you can provide that would improve your case. What documents could you request from your spouse, or what questions could you ask that would get to the bottom of things? In some situations, you may want to consider requesting photographs that prove adultery, tape recordings, tax returns, or bank statements. Knowing what is available can help you build a better case.

Making a list of the items you would like to request in advance could be helpful in saving your attorney time. The more time you can save your attorney, the more money you can save on your final bill.

You can assist your attorney with discovery.

Attorneys should be willing to allow you to participate in the discovery process, which can mean anything from checking over interrogatories to making a list of useful documents in the request for reproduction. Your assistance can help make the facts clearer to quickly get available information. A clearer idea of the big picture is especially helpful if you and your attorney already know that a trial is imminent.

You should be able to help your attorney pinpoint specific areas that they will need to focus on during a trial or settlement negotiation, if necessary. Items should not be included merely to embarrass or spite your spouse. They should be facts and situations that are critical to the core contested issues in your trial.

Assisting your attorney during the discovery process is another way that you can save them time, and ultimately, save yourself money.

Discovering the Facts

The discovery process can feel incredibly invasive when you are involved in a grueling and emotionally taxing divorce. Providing necessary information when requested allows attorneys to create better cases. They can help you get a clearer picture of your marital financial status, which affects your soon to be single financial status as well.

Preparing adequately for the discovery process can assist you in obtaining all that you are entitled to receive. The discovery process can give you more security for your financial future. Knowing what to expect and how you can offer your own assistance to your attorney gives you an opportunity to save money in the present as well.

The discovery process only has to be as painful as you allow it to be. By entering the process prepared, you can feel more stable, emotionally grounded, and peaceful during this time.

Find this information helpful? Share it with someone who needs it.

Shawn Leamon, MBA, CDFA is the host of the “Divorce and Your Money Show” and Managing Partner of LaGrande Global, with offices in Dallas, New York and Hanover, New Hampshire.

Feb 16, 2017

When most people picture the arduous divorce process, it is seldom imagined without a sharp-dressed attorney in a courtroom. What many people do not consider is that they have ways to get divorced without an attorney, including doing it on your own. A do-it-yourself divorce can be a cost-effective method for some, for example, if you are able to avoid fighting over major issues and come to agreements with your spouse in advance.

A do-it-yourself divorce is not appropriate for every circumstance, as it does have risks. It is only recommended when your divorce is relatively amicable with few complicated financial issues. You and your spouse should agree on children and custody issues. Without a doubt, no abuse, bullying, or mental illness should be involved if you plan to make a do-it-yourself divorce work.

Interested in what it takes to stay out of court or even a lawyer’s office altogether? Here are three ways you can make a do-it-yourself divorce work for you:

1) Learn the local rules for divorce in your area.

Each state has its own set of rules and guidelines, some of which can even be dependent on the particular county where you live. Many individuals turn to online sites that tout legal advice and suggestions, including the popular Legal Zoom and Nolo. Unfortunately, these avenues often cannot and do not account for specific state rules involved in a divorce.

You need to check specifically with your state laws and other country resources to determine what is required and when. These resources can help you decide if you and your spouse need to file for separation, what specific paperwork needs to be filed, and when and where to file it. Contacting the courthouse clerk may put you on the path to finding the right resources for your situation. General questions can often be answered by the resources they have available or through a family court website.

Educating yourself on the proper rules and finding the right resources in the beginning can prevent you from being ensnared in red tape. Without a clear direction in mind for where you are headed, you could end up filing the wrong paperwork at the wrong time, effectively lengthening the time it takes for your divorce to be finalized.

2) Understand the intricacies of dividing assets.

Misconceptions regarding property division in the dissolution of a marriage tend to lead people astray. You may not want to trust conventional wisdom or even the advice of a friend. Splitting up your marital assets can be tricky, as not all states divide property straight down the middle between two spouses.

If you are unsure of the laws in your county or state, you could be getting less than what you are entitled to receive. In certain situations, one spouse may need more finances than the other, rendering them eligible for a greater share in the divorce settlement. A division of 60/40 or an even greater spread could be necessary depending on your unique circumstances.

Dividing property and marital assets is a complicated subject to tackle. Divorces that involve children and custody agreements, alimony, or more complicated financial situations, such as owning many investments or divvying up large retirement savings accounts, may be better left to an attorney. When things become messy and complicated with finances and children, you could be putting your financial future at risk by working through the situation imperfectly with a do-it-yourself divorce.

When you pursue a DIY divorce, you should know that splitting your assets evenly might not be the right move for you. You will need to consider the bigger picture: what do you need not just in the coming months but ten years from now? Your financial future can be made more secure by receiving all that you are entitled to during the divorce settlement, helping you to avoid regrets later on down the road.

3) Consider hiring other professionals to help you work through the process.

Healthy and open communication with your soon to be ex is a necessary component to a successful do-it-yourself divorce. When you cannot speak amicably with one another, the end result might be a less than ideal settlement for you. In the midst of the frustrating situation, you may agree to a settlement that is less than you deserve simply because you want to move on with the rest of your life.

Consider bringing in professionals (other than an attorney) to assist you with this part of the process. You can hire a mediator to help both of you with negotiating and discussing your settlement in a productive and healthier manner. A mediator is often an attorney, a retired judge, or some other trained professional. This person may also be able to help you develop a clearer settlement and give you an idea of what you could be entitled to receive. You are less likely to be bullied into signing an agreement you are unsatisfied with when you have a more neutral environment for productive conversations.

You may also want to consider hiring a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA). These professionals can help you understand the financial intricacies of dividing your assets. They are trained professionals who work with you to ensure that you understand the long-term implications of a particular settlement in terms of your financial future and security.

Communicating privately with a spouse in an attempt to divide your property and work through your assets can lead you to agree to an unfavorable settlement. If you cannot communicate with one another productively, you will be putting your financial future at risk. In these situations, you should consider bringing in professionals to make your do-it-yourself divorce easier, less stressful, and more successful. Other professionals can help facilitate those conversations for less cost than an attorney and with a higher degree of specialty regarding negotiations and mediation.

When Do-It-Yourself Doesn’t Work

What can you do if you need to divorce on a dime but you are faced with more complicated issues that do not lend themselves well to a completely do-it-yourself divorce? When hiring a handful of additional professionals does not seem to be enough, you can also consider hiring an attorney for “unbundled” legal services.

Unbundled legal services allow you to purchase the time, expertise, and advice of an attorney without paying them to manage your entire divorce. If you feel comfortable enough filing and drafting your own paperwork, you have the freedom to do so without handing over a check to your attorney. When all you need is some advice to deal with trickier situations, including alimony, child support, or custody agreements, you may want to seek an attorney who offers this service. By only paying for what you need, you will still be saving a small fortune over a divorce that is handled entirely by an attorney.

Remember that even in the midst of a do-it-yourself divorce, you can still have professionals join your team for assistance. You can find those who are highly trained in the areas where you need assistance and often for less cost than an attorney. Work hard to educate yourself about state laws and regulations for your area so that you can manage your divorce as much as possible on your own. It is easily the most cost-effective way to handle your imminent divorce, but you must be prepared for the next steps to secure your financial future.

Find this information helpful? Please share it with someone else who needs it.

Shawn Leamon, MBA and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, is the host of the Divorce and Your Money Show, the #1 show on iTunes that discusses personal finance issues in divorce. He is also author of Divorce and Your Money: The No-Nonsense Guide, available on Amazon. Learn more at www.divorceandyourmoney.com.

Disclaimer: Divorce and Your Money and its affiliates do not provide tax, legal, or accounting advice. In considering this material, you should discuss your individual circumstances

Feb 9, 2017

It can be tempting to try to navigate the waters of your divorce on your own. After all, a do-it-yourself divorce is easily the least expensive method of finalizing the end of your marriage—in theory, that is. Trying to complete your divorce on your own can have serious implications for your financial future, especially if you are not considering all future possibilities.

Hiring a divorce attorney in the beginning is an absolute necessity to save you the financial and emotional headache that accompanies a do-it-yourself divorce. Where can you go wrong without a divorce attorney? You absolutely MUST hire a divorce attorney to help you for three main reasons.

(1) Incorrect paperwork can cost you time and money in the end.

The reality is that most of us do not have the expertise for filing our own legal paperwork. This unfamiliarity can lead to mistakes in determining which documents to complete and how to file them as well as obtaining a court date and managing any potential court proceedings. Many people are now turning to online resources, such as Legal Zoom, for advice on handling their divorce without an attorney. These sites fall short, however, as they do not and cannot cover all regulations for each individual state and circumstance.

Forgetting to file the proper paperwork or missing critical items in your settlement can also lead to added expense with future legal proceedings, leaving you financially strapped in the years ahead. Consider issues involved with alimony and child support. Laws differ from state to state, and these are definitely some of the more complicated aspects of a settlement to negotiate. Most individuals also have a hard time considering the long-term tax consequences of certain financial decisions and divisions regarding your settlement agreement.

Hiring an attorney to assist you will save you money and time in the end. Fortunately, you can even hire an attorney who will “unbundle” your services. If you and your spouse are relatively amicable and good communication is possible, you can sort out most of your divorce on your own. An attorney who unbundles their services can be used just for limited consultations, filing paperwork, or drafting your documents.

Unbundling a full-service divorce attorney can provide the legal assistance you need to file your divorce properly as well as save you money in the grand scheme of things by helping you avoid future court dates and proceedings to correct your mistakes.

(2) Getting less than you deserve can hurt your financial future.

State rules differ on how they divide your assets, and not all states believe in splitting marital assets 50/50. You will also need to be aware that not everything is necessarily considered a marital asset. Do you know what you are actually entitled to during your divorce under your state laws?

Sticky situations regarding property that belongs to only one spouse as well as such things as retirement accounts and shared debt can be difficult to divide. If each spouse maintained his or her own property and retirement accounts before the nuptials, it may be difficult to determine what is considered a marital asset in the present situation. Most individuals cannot plan for the long-term tax implications of those divisions, and they lack the insight to know exactly what they could be entitled to receive.

If you get less than you deserve in the settlement now, your financial future is at stake. Hiring a divorce attorney can help you achieve a fair and equitable settlement with everything you are entitled to receive. Taking care of the division of property and assets properly the first time allows you to avoid future legal proceedings (and the costs associated with them) to make corrections.

(3) You need to protect yourself from a bullying spouse.

In the case of an abusive situation (whether it is physical, verbal, emotional, or otherwise), you need to do everything you can to ensure your protection. Attempting to negotiate a divorce settlement behind closed doors with an abusive spouse is a recipe for disaster—both for your physical safety and your financial future.

If your marriage is coming to an end due to the behavior of your abusive or bullying spouse, you definitely need to hire a divorce attorney right away. The right attorney can help put distance between you and your spouse to prevent them from manipulating or frightening you into agreeing to an unfair settlement. Without effective communication, you are really putting yourself at risk for having an inequitable settlement that will put for your financial future further at risk.

A bullying or abusive spouse is also likely to seek his or her own attorney. Attempting to navigate your divorce on your own while your spouse has legal assistance does not set you up for success. Should your case make it to trial, it is likely that you will not fare well in the court proceedings on your own.

An attorney can help you think through every situation that could arise in the future that would be affected by your settlement and divorce negotiation. Their emotional distance from a highly charged situation can give you some much-needed perspective to protect yourself from your spouse and get what you are entitled to from what remains a marital asset.

You NEED a Divorce Lawyer

At a minimum, hiring a divorce attorney to provide legal assistance in filing your paperwork is a wise investment for your newly single lifestyle. Attempting to settle your divorce without legal assistance, especially in complicated situations involving alimony or children, can put your entire financial future at risk and cost you more in the long run.

Divorce is a business transaction, and protecting yourself both physically and financially should be a top concern for you. A divorce attorney could be just the ally you need to ensure that you have the emotional distance necessary to fight for all that you are entitled to receive during the divorce process. It is well worth the expense of some minor legal fees to be in the best spot for your financial future.

Find this information helpful? Please share it with someone else who needs it.

Shawn Leamon, MBA and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, is the host of the Divorce and Your Money Show, the #1 show on iTunes that discusses personal finance issues in divorce. He is also author of Divorce and Your Money: The No-Nonsense Guide, available on Amazon. Learn more at www.divorceandyourmoney.com.

Disclaimer: Divorce and Your Money and its affiliates do not provide tax, legal, or accounting advice. In considering this material, you should discuss your individual circumstances with professionals in those areas before making any decisions.

Feb 2, 2017

This was originally published on Divorce and Your Money here

Why You Must Read This Guide in 2017 if You’re Getting Divorced

Whether you oversaw family finances while married or this is your first time looking at taxes, this guide will help you. Divorce is complicated, and taxes are especially complicated. You need to pay special attention to taxes in the years you are going through divorce and the year you are officially single. Making a mistake with your taxes during the divorce process can affect you for decades and perhaps cost tens of thousands of dollars or more. This guide will help you easily navigate the complex elements of taxes during divorce.
 
In Your Easy 2017 Guide to Taxes in Divorce, you will learn the most important tax topics to consider during divorce. While taxes are never a fun subject, they are necessary, and you will receive reliable information that you need. In fact, the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) has various “publications” that provide detailed information on tax issues. IRS Publication 504, Divorced or Separated Individuals is a 28-page booklet about tax issues in divorce. If you love studying and reading about taxes, you can check it out and skip this guide, but I have read Publication 504 for you. I’m only going to give you the best parts in an easy-to-understand format.
 
We will cover four major topics: 
1) What filing status do you choose when you are getting divorced?
2) Paying or Receiving Spousal Support? Avoid these traps.
3) Child support is easy from a tax perspective.
4) Five important tax tips when negotiating your divorce settlement.
 
A quick disclaimer: I am not an accountant or an attorney. I’m a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. I cannot provide tax or legal advice, and you need to consult experts about your specific case. Taxes and laws vary by state, and everyone’s situation is different. While this guide will help you understand the major issues, be sure to consult your own experts.
 
When you think about personal taxes, we are going to focus on Form 1040, which is the U.S. Individual Income Tax Return. Give it a quick review. It’s short and quite simple . . . until you start filling out each line of the form. We’re going to cover a few high-level issues related to Form 1040 that are particularly relevant as you’re getting divorced starting with “Filing Status.”
 
1) What Filing Status do you choose when you are getting divorced?Form 1040 provides five options:
•   Married filing jointly
•   Married filing separately
•   Head of household
•   Single
•   Qualifying widower
 
Except for “qualifying widower,” which is a special situation that is not related to divorce, we will go through each of these options in more depth, as your Filing Status helps determine how much tax you must pay on your income.  This is a very important section that you need to understand. Even though it’s just a quick checkbox, what you select affects how much and what tax deductions, exemptions, and credits you will receive—potentially for many years to come. (For our purposes, you don’t need to know the difference between deductions, exemptions, and credits, but you should know that the more you have, the less tax you will pay.)
 
Your Filing Status is mostly determined on December 31 of the tax year. If you were officially divorced in March or November 2016, meaning that a judge signed your final divorce decree, it means you were divorced for the whole year. Legal separation counts as divorce for our purposes as well but only if your state recognizes it. 
 
Filing Status Options
If on December 31 of the tax year you are:
 
Married
Married Filing Jointly
Married Filing Separately
Head of Household
 
Divorced or Legally Separated
Head of Household
Single
 
Married Filing Jointly
For most people going through divorce, this is the best option if you want to minimize your annual tax bill. When you file your taxes as married filing jointly, both you and your spouse will file a joint tax return. It will include each of your incomes, exemptions, deductions, and credits, and you will both sign the same return.
 
While Married Filing Jointly usually provides the most tax benefits, the major downside is that you are legally liable for what appears on the tax return. If you owe taxes, even if you did not earn the income, you are equally responsible for those taxes with your spouse. If tax penalties or other issues are involved, you are liable because you signed a joint return. You should be careful in the event it is later discovered there was an issue with the tax return you signed. This applies even after the divorce is over and even if the divorce decree states otherwise. If it’s later discovered there was an issue with a joint tax return, you are liable since your name is on the document. 
 
It is not all bad news, however, because if you do find yourself in a situation where you are unexpectedly liable for something on a joint tax return, you have some options if you look for information from the IRS regarding innocent spouse relief, separation of liability, or equitable relief.
 
Conclusion: For Married Filing Jointly, even though you will usually end up paying less in taxes, if you suspect tax issues or potential fraud may be involved, you may want to consider Married Filing Separately. 
 
Married Filing Separately
When you are still legally married, you and your spouse can file separate tax returns by selecting Married Filing Separately. If you select this option, from a tax perspective, you are only considering your individual income, exemptions, deductions, and credits. This option is usually more expensive from a tax perspective because many tax benefits are related to marriage. The IRS presents a set of warnings if you choose Married Filing Separately:
 
1. Your tax rate generally is higher than it would be on a joint return.
2. Your exemption amount for figuring the alternative minimum tax is half of that allowed on a joint return.
3. You can’t take the credit for child and dependent care expenses in most cases, and the amount you can exclude from income under an employer's dependent care assistance program is limited to $2,500 (instead of $5,000 on a joint return). If you are legally separated or living apart from your spouse, you may be able to file a separate return and still take the credit. See Pub. 503 for more information.
4. You can’t take the earned income credit.
5. You can’t take the exclusion or credit for adoption expenses in most cases.
6. You can’t take the credit for higher education expenses (American opportunity and lifetime learning credits), the deduction for student loan interest, or the tuition and fees deduction.
7. You can’t exclude the interest from qualified savings bonds that you used for higher education expenses.
8. If you lived with your spouse at any time during the tax year:
    a. You can’t claim the credit for the elderly or the disabled, and
    b. You will have to include in income a higher percentage (up to 85%) of any social security or equivalent railroad retirement benefits you received.
9. The following credits and deductions are reduced at income levels that are half those for a joint return.
    a. The child tax credit.
    b. The retirement savings contributions credit.
    c. The deduction for personal exemptions.
    d. Itemized deductions.
10. Your capital loss deduction limit is $1,500 (instead of $3,000 on a joint return).
11. If your spouse itemizes deductions, you can’t claim the standard deduction. If you can claim the standard deduction, your basic standard deduction is half the amount allowed on a joint return.”
 
As you can see, you will probably face a higher tax bill when you are Married Filing Separately than Married Filing Jointly. So why would you do it? It all boils down to liability. If your spouse does something suspicious, such as incorrectly filing taxes, hiding money, or is involved in illegal activities, and you sign a joint tax return, it means you are liable for many of those consequences. So even though you may face a higher tax bill, a separate return means that you are only liable for what you put on your own tax return, not what your spouse does. 
 
Head of Household
Filing as Head of Household is an option whether you are married or already divorced and have children. If you are still legally married, however, there is a special set of requirements you must meet here
 
If you have children, filing as Head of Household will lead to the lowest tax bill as opposed to filing as Single. The main requirements for qualifying for Head of Household are 1) you have a child who lives with you more than half the year and 2) you need to have paid more than half the costs of keeping up the home. A full set of rules is provided in Publication 504
 
The benefits of claiming Head of Household status is that you have higher deductions, more credits, and an overall lower tax rate than if you file your taxes as Single. In general, but not always, Head of Household has more benefits than Married Filing Separately. 
 
If you have more than one child, it is possible that both you and your (ex-) spouse can file as Head of Household. You both must meet certain requirements, but it is a possibility.
 
Single
If you don’t have any children or if you cannot claim Head of Household status, you must file as Single, which means you will pay the highest tax rates. As the saying goes, “It is what it is.”
 
2) Paying or Receiving Spousal Support? Avoid these traps.
Spousal support, also called alimony or maintenance, is a payment made to a former spouse as part of a divorce or separation agreement. Spousal support is taxable for the recipient and tax deductible for the payer. If you receive spousal support, that money counts as income to you, and you must pay taxes on it. If you are paying spousal support, those payments are deductible from your income. 
 
Only payments specifically made as part of the divorce or separation agreement are considered alimony for tax purposes, meaning that voluntary or bonus payments are not included.  Temporary spousal support is regarded the same as permanent spousal support from a tax perspective. Certain types of payments do not qualify as spousal support:
•   Child support
•   Noncash payments
•   Money for keeping up the payer’s property, such as repairs on a home
•   Use of the payer’s property, for example, lending a home to a former spouse
 
You can, however, make payments to a third party on behalf of an ex-spouse and qualify for spousal support. For example, payments for such things as medical expenses, taxes, and tuition can still qualify as spousal support. Payments must be made in cash, so transferring property or providing a service for payment does not count as spousal support in the eyes of the IRS. 
 
Advanced Tip: Since spousal support is taxable income for the recipient, you can use income from spousal support payments to contribute to retirement accounts. 
 
3) Child Support is easy from a tax perspective.
Child support has different tax rules than spousal support. Child support is not tax deductible for the payer and is not taxable for the recipient. Child support comes from after-tax money. What does that mean in practice? If you are paying child support, it is much more expensive than receiving child support because you do not receive any tax benefits for paying it. If you are receiving child support, it’s a big benefit for you because that money is not taxed. 
 
4) Five important tax tips when negotiating your divorce settlement.
Tip 1: Get your own CPA in the years during and immediately after divorce. 
You need to have your own CPA when you are getting divorced and the year immediately following your divorce. It will cost you a little more money than simply using your spouse’s CPA or software, such as HR Block or TurboTax, but the many complex pitfalls that may occur during divorce can cost you dearly if you’re not careful. What if your spouse makes a mistake in preparing the tax returns? What if your spouse commits fraud? Anything can happen during divorce, and you need your own CPA to help you avoid major issues.
 
Taxes are complicated, and having a CPA to help you immediately following your divorce can ensure that you save money in tax payments. You need to be aware of several tax breaks and changes during divorce, and it’s better to complete things correctly than to find out years down the line that you have been paying too much!
 
Tip 2: Property transferred as part of the divorce is generally tax free . . .
You should know that most property transferred “incident to divorce” is tax free. Property includes such things as homes, cars, and investment accounts. If transferred as part of the divorce, there is no tax benefit or disadvantage to receiving the assets. For any assets you receive, you need to know the “tax basis” or “cost basis.” This amount is usually the purchase price of the property (though it can get complicated when discussing such assets as homes). If you sell any asset later, the cost basis will be relevant for calculating capital gains. Also note that there is no step up or change in cost basis for assets transferred as part of divorce. 
 
Advanced Tip: Consider getting spousal support paid in a lump sum, as you can avoid counting that money as future income if the money is transferred as part of the property settlement. 
 
But don’t ignore the tax consequences.
If you plan on selling all or part of any property you receive during divorce, you need to understand the tax consequences. Some assets (e.g., stock that has increased in value, retirement accounts, homes) may have very substantial tax consequences if you need the funds. Imagine negotiating for an investment account in divorce worth $1,000, and when you sell it for money you find out after taxes that it’s worth only $500? It’s a common situation that many people forget about during divorce. Consider getting help from your CPA or Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) to help you analyze the tax impact of selling your property. 
 
Tip 3: Selling your home while married can save $250,000 in taxes.
If you plan to sell your home in the near future, you can take advantage of substantial tax benefits by selling the house while still married. You can exclude the first $500,000 of capital gains taxes (the tax you pay when property increases in value) on your main residence when you are still married. If you wait until you are divorced, that exclusion reduces to $250,000, so you could end up paying much more in taxes than necessary. 
 
Tip 4: Don’t forget the tax refund.
Are you and your soon to be ex-spouse expecting a tax refund? Don’t forget to negotiate who keeps the refund. Don’t let your spouse steal it from you, and you should not steal it from her either. 
 
Tip 5: Child-related tax benefits are very valuable. 
If you have children, you should consider negotiating for various child-related tax benefits, such as the Standard Deduction, Dependency Exemption, Child Credit, and American Opportunity Credit. If you have primary custody of the children, you will have an easier time receiving child-related tax benefits. You can negotiate as part of your settlement to keep many child-related tax benefits even if you don’t have primary custody. Depending upon your circumstances, this can be a valuable benefit that most people forget about.
 
Final thoughts
Taxes are usually one of the last items on people’s lists when it comes to divorce, even though it requires just as much time and attention as every other element in the divorce process. Failure to properly consider your options with taxes can lead to tens of thousands of dollars in expenses and years of regret. Make sure you make the right tax decisions for your situation to help protect your financial interests and future. 
 
For further reading, please consider the following IRS Publications available on https://www.irs.gov.
 
17—Your Federal Income Tax
504—Divorced or Separated Individuals
521—Moving Expenses
523—Selling Your Home
590—Individual Retirement Arrangements

Find this information helpful? Please share it with someone else who needs it.

Shawn Leamon, MBA and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, is the host of the Divorce and Your Money Show, the #1 show on iTunes that discusses personal finance issues in divorce. He is also author of Divorce and Your Money: The No-Nonsense Guide, available on Amazon. Learn more at www.divorceandyourmoney.com.

Disclaimer: Divorce and Your Money and its affiliates do not provide tax, legal, or accounting advice. In considering this material, you should discuss your individual circumstances with professionals in those areas before making any decisions.

Feb 1, 2017

Why You Must Read This Guide in 2017 if You’re Getting Divorced

Whether you oversaw family finances while married or this is your first time looking at taxes, this guide will help you. Divorce is complicated, and taxes are especially complicated. You need to pay special attention to taxes in the years you are going through divorce and the year you are officially single. Making a mistake with your taxes during the divorce process can affect you for decades and perhaps cost tens of thousands of dollars or more. This guide will help you easily navigate the complex elements of taxes during divorce.
 
In Your Easy 2017 Guide to Taxes in Divorce, you will learn the most important tax topics to consider during divorce. While taxes are never a fun subject, they are necessary, and you will receive reliable information that you need. In fact, the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) has various “publications” that provide detailed information on tax issues. IRS Publication 504, Divorced or Separated Individuals is a 28-page booklet about tax issues in divorce. If you love studying and reading about taxes, you can check it out and skip this guide, but I have read Publication 504 for you. I’m only going to give you the best parts in an easy-to-understand format.
 
We will cover four major topics: 
1) What filing status do you choose when you are getting divorced?
2) Paying or Receiving Spousal Support? Avoid these traps.
3) Child support is easy from a tax perspective.
4) Five important tax tips when negotiating your divorce settlement.
 

A quick disclaimer: I am not an accountant or an attorney. I’m a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. I cannot provide tax or legal advice, and you need to consult experts about your specific case. Taxes and laws vary by state, and everyone’s situation is different. While this guide will help you understand the major issues, be sure to consult your own experts.
 
When you think about personal taxes, we are going to focus on Form 1040, which is the U.S. Individual Income Tax Return. Give it a quick review. It’s short and quite simple . . . until you start filling out each line of the form. We’re going to cover a few high-level issues related to Form 1040 that are particularly relevant as you’re getting divorced starting with “Filing Status.”

1) What Filing Status do you choose when you are getting divorced?

Form 1040 provides five options:
•   Married filing jointly
•   Married filing separately
•   Head of household
•   Single
•   Qualifying widower
 

Except for “qualifying widower,” which is a special situation that is not related to divorce, we will go through each of these options in more depth, as your Filing Status helps determine how much tax you must pay on your income.  This is a very important section that you need to understand. Even though it’s just a quick checkbox, what you select affects how much and what tax deductions, exemptions, and credits you will receive—potentially for many years to come. (For our purposes, you don’t need to know the difference between deductions, exemptions, and credits, but you should know that the more you have, the less tax you will pay.)
 
Your Filing Status is mostly determined on December 31 of the tax year. If you were officially divorced in March or November 2016, meaning that a judge signed your final divorce decree, it means you were divorced for the whole year. Legal separation counts as divorce for our purposes as well but only if your state recognizes it. 

Filing Status Options

If on December 31 of the tax year you are:

Married

Married Filing Jointly
Married Filing Separately
Head of Household

Divorced or Legally Separated
Head of Household
Single

Married Filing Jointly

For most people going through divorce, this is the best option if you want to minimize your annual tax bill. When you file your taxes as married filing jointly, both you and your spouse will file a joint tax return. It will include each of your incomes, exemptions, deductions, and credits, and you will both sign the same return.
 
While Married Filing Jointly usually provides the most tax benefits, the major downside is that you are legally liable for what appears on the tax return. If you owe taxes, even if you did not earn the income, you are equally responsible for those taxes with your spouse. If tax penalties or other issues are involved, you are liable because you signed a joint return. You should be careful in the event it is later discovered there was an issue with the tax return you signed. This applies even after the divorce is over and even if the divorce decree states otherwise. If it’s later discovered there was an issue with a joint tax return, you are liable since your name is on the document. 
 
It is not all bad news, however, because if you do find yourself in a situation where you are unexpectedly liable for something on a joint tax return, you have some options if you look for information from the IRS regarding innocent spouse relief, separation of liability, or equitable relief.
 
Conclusion: For Married Filing Jointly, even though you will usually end up paying less in taxes, if you suspect tax issues or potential fraud may be involved, you may want to consider Married Filing Separately. 

Married Filing Separately

When you are still legally married, you and your spouse can file separate tax returns by selecting Married Filing Separately. If you select this option, from a tax perspective, you are only considering your individual income, exemptions, deductions, and credits. This option is usually more expensive from a tax perspective because many tax benefits are related to marriage. The IRS presents a set of warnings if you choose Married Filing Separately:
 
1. Your tax rate generally is higher than it would be on a joint return.
2. Your exemption amount for figuring the alternative minimum tax is half of that allowed on a joint return.
3. You can’t take the credit for child and dependent care expenses in most cases, and the amount you can exclude from income under an employer's dependent care assistance program is limited to $2,500 (instead of $5,000 on a joint return). If you are legally separated or living apart from your spouse, you may be able to file a separate return and still take the credit. See Pub. 503 for more information.
4. You can’t take the earned income credit.
5. You can’t take the exclusion or credit for adoption expenses in most cases.
6. You can’t take the credit for higher education expenses (American opportunity and lifetime learning credits), the deduction for student loan interest, or the tuition and fees deduction.
7. You can’t exclude the interest from qualified savings bonds that you used for higher education expenses.
8. If you lived with your spouse at any time during the tax year:
    a. You can’t claim the credit for the elderly or the disabled, and
    b. You will have to include in income a higher percentage (up to 85%) of any social security or equivalent railroad retirement benefits you received.
9. The following credits and deductions are reduced at income levels that are half those for a joint return.
    a. The child tax credit.
    b. The retirement savings contributions credit.
    c. The deduction for personal exemptions.
    d. Itemized deductions.
10. Your capital loss deduction limit is $1,500 (instead of $3,000 on a joint return).
11. If your spouse itemizes deductions, you can’t claim the standard deduction. If you can claim the standard deduction, your basic standard deduction is half the amount allowed on a joint return.”
 
As you can see, you will probably face a higher tax bill when you are Married Filing Separately than Married Filing Jointly. So why would you do it? It all boils down to liability. If your spouse does something suspicious, such as incorrectly filing taxes, hiding money, or is involved in illegal activities, and you sign a joint tax return, it means you are liable for many of those consequences. So even though you may face a higher tax bill, a separate return means that you are only liable for what you put on your own tax return, not what your spouse does. 

Head of Household

Filing as Head of Household is an option whether you are married or already divorced and have children. If you are still legally married, however, there is a special set of requirements you must meet here
 
If you have children, filing as Head of Household will lead to the lowest tax bill as opposed to filing as Single. The main requirements for qualifying for Head of Household are 1) you have a child who lives with you more than half the year and 2) you need to have paid more than half the costs of keeping up the home. A full set of rules is provided in Publication 504
 
The benefits of claiming Head of Household status is that you have higher deductions, more credits, and an overall lower tax rate than if you file your taxes as Single. In general, but not always, Head of Household has more benefits than Married Filing Separately. 
 
If you have more than one child, it is possible that both you and your (ex-) spouse can file as Head of Household. You both must meet certain requirements, but it is a possibility.

Single

If you don’t have any children or if you cannot claim Head of Household status, you must file as Single, which means you will pay the highest tax rates. As the saying goes, “It is what it is.”

2) Paying or Receiving Spousal Support? Avoid these traps.

Spousal support, also called alimony or maintenance, is a payment made to a former spouse as part of a divorce or separation agreement. Spousal support is taxable for the recipient and tax deductible for the payer. If you receive spousal support, that money counts as income to you, and you must pay taxes on it. If you are paying spousal support, those payments are deductible from your income. 
 
Only payments specifically made as part of the divorce or separation agreement are considered alimony for tax purposes, meaning that voluntary or bonus payments are not included.  Temporary spousal support is regarded the same as permanent spousal support from a tax perspective. Certain types of payments do not qualify as spousal support:
•   Child support
•   Noncash payments
•   Money for keeping up the payer’s property, such as repairs on a home
•   Use of the payer’s property, for example, lending a home to a former spouse
 
You can, however, make payments to a third party on behalf of an ex-spouse and qualify for spousal support. For example, payments for such things as medical expenses, taxes, and tuition can still qualify as spousal support. Payments must be made in cash, so transferring property or providing a service for payment does not count as spousal support in the eyes of the IRS. 
 
Advanced Tip: Since spousal support is taxable income for the recipient, you can use income from spousal support payments to contribute to retirement accounts. 

3) Child Support is easy from a tax perspective.

Child support has different tax rules than spousal support. Child support is not tax deductible for the payer and is not taxable for the recipient. Child support comes from after-tax money. What does that mean in practice? If you are paying child support, it is much more expensive than receiving child support because you do not receive any tax benefits for paying it. If you are receiving child support, it’s a big benefit for you because that money is not taxed. 

4) Five important tax tips when negotiating your divorce settlement.

Tip 1: Get your own CPA in the years during and immediately after divorce. 

You need to have your own CPA when you are getting divorced and the year immediately following your divorce. It will cost you a little more money than simply using your spouse’s CPA or software, such as HR Block or TurboTax, but the many complex pitfalls that may occur during divorce can cost you dearly if you’re not careful. What if your spouse makes a mistake in preparing the tax returns? What if your spouse commits fraud? Anything can happen during divorce, and you need your own CPA to help you avoid major issues.
 
Taxes are complicated, and having a CPA to help you immediately following your divorce can ensure that you save money in tax payments. You need to be aware of several tax breaks and changes during divorce, and it’s better to complete things correctly than to find out years down the line that you have been paying too much!

Tip 2: Property transferred as part of the divorce is generally tax free . . .

You should know that most property transferred “incident to divorce” is tax free. Property includes such things as homes, cars, and investment accounts. If transferred as part of the divorce, there is no tax benefit or disadvantage to receiving the assets. For any assets you receive, you need to know the “tax basis” or “cost basis.” This amount is usually the purchase price of the property (though it can get complicated when discussing such assets as homes). If you sell any asset later, the cost basis will be relevant for calculating capital gains. Also note that there is no step up or change in cost basis for assets transferred as part of divorce. 
 
Advanced Tip: Consider getting spousal support paid in a lump sum, as you can avoid counting that money as future income if the money is transferred as part of the property settlement. 
 
But don’t ignore the tax consequences.
If you plan on selling all or part of any property you receive during divorce, you need to understand the tax consequences. Some assets (e.g., stock that has increased in value, retirement accounts, homes) may have very substantial tax consequences if you need the funds. Imagine negotiating for an investment account in divorce worth $1,000, and when you sell it for money you find out after taxes that it’s worth only $500? It’s a common situation that many people forget about during divorce. Consider getting help from your CPA or Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) to help you analyze the tax impact of selling your property. 

Tip 3: Selling your home while married can save $250,000 in taxes.

If you plan to sell your home in the near future, you can take advantage of substantial tax benefits by selling the house while still married. You can exclude the first $500,000 of capital gains taxes (the tax you pay when property increases in value) on your main residence when you are still married. If you wait until you are divorced, that exclusion reduces to $250,000, so you could end up paying much more in taxes than necessary. 

Tip 4: Don’t forget the tax refund.

Are you and your soon to be ex-spouse expecting a tax refund? Don’t forget to negotiate who keeps the refund. Don’t let your spouse steal it from you, and you should not steal it from her either. 

Tip 5: Child-related tax benefits are very valuable. 

If you have children, you should consider negotiating for various child-related tax benefits, such as the Standard Deduction, Dependency Exemption, Child Credit, and American Opportunity Credit. If you have primary custody of the children, you will have an easier time receiving child-related tax benefits. You can negotiate as part of your settlement to keep many child-related tax benefits even if you don’t have primary custody. Depending upon your circumstances, this can be a valuable benefit that most people forget about.

Final thoughts

Taxes are usually one of the last items on people’s lists when it comes to divorce, even though it requires just as much time and attention as every other element in the divorce process. Failure to properly consider your options with taxes can lead to tens of thousands of dollars in expenses and years of regret. Make sure you make the right tax decisions for your situation to help protect your financial interests and future. 
 
For further reading, please consider the following IRS Publications available on https://www.irs.gov.
 
17—Your Federal Income Tax
504—Divorced or Separated Individuals
521—Moving Expenses
523—Selling Your Home

Find this information helpful? Please share it with someone else who needs it.

Shawn Leamon, MBA and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, is the host of the Divorce and Your Money Show, the #1 show on iTunes that discusses personal finance issues in divorce. He is also author of Divorce and Your Money: The No-Nonsense Guide, available on Amazon. Learn more at www.divorceandyourmoney.com.

Disclaimer: Divorce and Your Money and its affiliates do not provide tax, legal, or accounting advice. In considering this material, you should discuss your individual circumstances with professionals in those areas before making any decisions.

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Jan 30, 2017

“Attorneys often tend to feel they have the knowledge and experience to take care of many complex financial matters on their own, even though most do not hold any sort of business degree. This can create costly mistakes for their clients if they do not fully understand the complicated financial concerns at hand.”

- Joseph E. Cordell, Partner of Cordell & Cordell, the largest family law firm in the United States

Your divorce lawyer is essential for advising you on the legal aspects of your divorce. However, most divorce layers are not financial experts, and your attorney can make costly mistakes that could end up hurting you for many years after your divorce is over.

I am going to show you the five most common financial mistakes your attorney could make when crafting a divorce settlement—and what you can do to protect yourself.

1) Failing to navigate steep tax consequences

When you think about finances in divorce, it is not important what you get, but what you get to keep. There are tax consequences to almost every major financial decision. However, while divorce attorneys are great at helping you negotiate a settlement, they often fail to account for the tax implications.

Retirement accounts (such as IRAs, 401ks, and pension plans) have different rules when it comes to withdrawing money from the account when you need it. You may think an account is worth $100, but after you pay all the taxes and penalties, you only have $50 left.

If your attorney does not help you navigate the tax consequences of every potential asset and account, you can find yourself agreeing to a settlement that is not fair, and does not make financial sense later.

What if you plan to sell your marital home after divorcing? Many divorce attorneys fail to advise a way to save $250,000 in capital gains taxes: selling your home while you are still legally married. That information could mean a lot more money in your pocket after the divorce is over.

How should you file your income taxes? There are tax traps regarding spousal and child support, which marital status you choose, and how you handle a tax refund when you are getting divorced. A wrong decision while getting divorced can cost you for the rest of your life.

2) Mishandling investment accounts

Investment accounts are one of the most complicated financial assets in the world. There are hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of different investment options. After a decade of exclusively working in the financial services industry, there are some areas that I still find complex.

How can you expect someone who went to law school to make the proper investment and financial decisions for you? Numerous times, I have seen even the highest-profile family law attorneys make easily preventable mistakes when dividing investments during divorce.

Let us look at a few basic examples:

Mutual Funds: Mutual funds are common, but they come with risks you may not consider as you negotiate with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. Is the money in a taxable or tax-deferred account? Is there is a high portfolio turnover in the fund? In other words, is there frequent buying and selling of investments associated with it? If so, there could be a large, unexpected tax liability that you will not discover until the end of the year. Furthermore, there are hundreds of different strategies and structures of mutual funds, so you should be very selective about which ones you fight to keep.

Stocks: If you are thinking about keeping an individual stock, do you know its cost basis (which has a huge impact on calculating future taxes if you sell it)? If the stock is a big portion of your overall assets, do you know how to “hedge" it or diversify the risk? There are some incredibly complex considerations regarding stocks, and many books are dedicated to this subject alone. Taking the word of your family law attorney (or worse yet, your spouse) without getting specialized help could be an expensive mistake.

Alternative Investments: Are trying to split a hedge fund or private equity fund? Do you even know what these assets are? Be very careful. Many of these funds involve periods of up to 10 years in which you cannot sell them. Therefore, if you need the money, you could find yourself in a tough financial position.

3) Forgetting to look for hidden assets

You may have suspicions that your spouse is hiding money from you. Sometimes it is obvious, but other times, it can be difficult to tell. When your marriage is on the rocks, it is a very common occurrence for money to start disappearing.  If you and your spouse own a business, then hiding money becomes much easier.

Given the financial complexities of identifying red flags, many divorce attorneys often inadequately search for hidden assets, which is secret money that you may be entitled to receive. Your spouse may do things like transfer money to friends, report lower income or higher business, create fake or inflated debts, withdraw money in cash and hide it, overpay the IRS and keep the refund, or mislead you about the value of assets.

Finding hidden assets is complicated and potentially expensive, as it may require you to employ a forensic accountant or private investigator. That said, failure to examine this kind of misdeed could cost you a lot of money.

4) Neglecting to secure support payments with insurance

What happens if your spouse unexpectedly stops making child or spousal support payments because they die or become disabled? Support payments may be an essential income source for you, and a sudden loss of payments could cause a host of financial complications.

Many attorneys fail to advise this cost-effective way to protect you: getting insurance to make support payments should the unforeseen happen. The specific implementations can take many forms, but if you are the beneficiary of the policy, you will be protected.

However, you should make sure you own the policies, and that any premium payments are kept current. Otherwise, you will find yourself at a loss when you need the funds.

5) Overlooking a post-divorce financial plan

One day, your divorce will be over—even if it does not feel like it now. Before you sign the settlement papers, are you sure the agreement will make sense for you in the long-term? Many settlements may make sense for the first year or two, but you can find yourself realizing you made a major mistake later down the line.

Divorce attorneys generally do not prepare long-term financial plans for you. All too often, I see people like you put in this position: Just a few years after the divorce, they are scrambling for money or considering bankruptcy.

You may regret having chosen to keep that house, or choosing a bigger retirement account (versus cash in a bank account today). You do not want to end up in a position where you are asset-rich but cash-poor. Most of the time, divorcesettlements are tough to change, so you must be sure you can afford the settlement when you sign on the dotted line.

Keep your attorney from f***ing up your settlement — and your life

Get specialized help. You are paying your lawyer for advice about the law. Be sure to have someone help you handle the complex financial issues during divorce, such as a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA). CDFAs are trained by theInstitute for Divorce Financial Analysts.

Their mission is to "assist the client and his or her attorney to understand how the decisions he or she makes today will impact the client’s financial future.” Some CDFAs operate in general regions, and others like me help people across the country.

Fortunately, there are some great FREE resources out there. For instance, I host the Divorce and Your Money Show, which is the #1 podcast in the United States that discusses the financial issues in divorce.

You can also check out these courses:

By doing your homework and not being afraid to get help, you can successfully navigate your divorce. Then you will end up with the settlement you deserve.

Do not get f***ed.

Find this information helpful? Please share it with someone else who needs it.

Shawn Leamon, MBA and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, is the host of theDivorce and Your Money Show, the #1 show on iTunes that discusses personal finance issues in divorce. He is also author of Divorce and Your Money: The No-Nonsense Guide, available on Amazon. Learn more atwww.divorceandyourmoney.com.

Disclaimer: Divorce and Your Money and its affiliates do not provide tax, legal, or accounting advice. In considering this material, you should discuss your individual circumstances with professionals in those areas before making any decisions.

Jan 26, 2017

Going through a divorce is one of the toughest things that can happen in your life. There are legal issues, financial complications, and of course, intense emotional strains. The process can be made all the more confusing because of poor,  conflicting feedback; you might find this shoddy advice online or hear it from family and friends. Therefore, where do you turn for trustworthy information?

The good news is that you are not alone. There are some reliable blogs and online resources to help you survive the divorce process. As someone who has helped thousands of people get through divorce, I only recommend a handful of blogs. Some of my favorite resources are listed below.

Overall Best Divorce Blog: Huffington Post Divorce

Huffington Post Divorce has the most comprehensive information for people going through a divorce. The blog includes a wide range of interesting topics, including legal issues, co-parenting, and even celebrity issues. There are a wide range of contributors, from individuals (sharing their own experiences and lessons) to experts (e.g., attorneys, therapists, financial analysts, and sex therapists).

The only downside to Huffington Post Divorce is that the amount of information on the site can simply be overwhelming. They have numerous posts every day, and it can be hard to find information about a specific subject. But overall, it has the most complete information related to divorce anywhere online.

Runner-Up for Best Divorce Blog: AvvoStories Divorce

Avvo is a site that provides ratings and reviews for attorneys across the country in various areas of the law. They have a great blog on divorce called AvvoStories, which covers a wide variety of divorce subjects, usually written by former attorneys, authors, and freelance contributors.

Although AvvoStories is not as comprehensive as Huffington Post Divorce, it does focus on some unique, lesser-known subjects, which you will not find articles about anywhere else. For example, AvvoStories discusses divorce concierges and divorce masters. Overall, AvvoStories serves as one-stop shopping for reading, researching, getting answers to questions, and connecting with an attorney.

Best Blog for Divorcing Women: Divorced Girl Smiling by Jackie Pilossoph

In the Divorced Girl Smiling, Jackie Pilossoph shares her experiences and offers advice since her divorce. Her recently redesigned blog covers a wide variety of topics, including separating, co-parenting, and dating after divorce. Pilossoph is also the author of the highly entertaining novel Smiling and the creator ofDivorced Guy Grinning, another great blog.

I recommend Divorced Girl Smiling for women looking for practical advice that feels like it is coming from a close friend or peer. The site has a lot of great information, and the writing is both informative and entertaining.

Best Blog for Divorcing Men: Dad’s Divorce by Cordell & Cordell

Cordell & Cordell claims to be “the largest family law firm in the nation focused on men's divorce, child custody, fathers rights, men’s rights, child support and other family law matters.” Their blog provides essential information on the divorce process, child custody issues, child support, property division, and spouse support. They even offer an attorney directory, a variety of divorce guides, and advice about divorce laws in specific states.

This blog is great for men going through contentious divorces. Oftentimes, men feel like divorce laws (especially custody-related ones) are biased in favor of women. As a response, Dad’s Divorce provides very helpful information about protecting men’s interests.

Overall Best Blogs by Divorce Coaches: Moving Past Divorce by Terry Gaspard and Tracy Clifford

This blog is written by Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW, and Tracy Clifford, a mother/daughter team who grew up in divorced families. Their mission is to help women make healthy choices in their relationships, and they are authors of the excellent book Daughters of Divorce: Overcome the Legacy of Your Parents' Breakup and Enjoy a Happy, Long-Lasting Relationship.

The blog is geared toward people seeking tools to help cope with the emotional challenges involved during and after divorce. There are also great guest posts from other experts, including Rosalind Sedacca, Lisa Gabardi, and LJ Burke. In addition, the website includes a comprehensive list of recommended books.

I recently interviewed Terry Gaspard on the Divorce and Your Money Show. She was an excellent interviewee; you can listen to the interview here.

Since My Divorce by Mandy Walker

Mandy Walker is a divorce coach who went through a divorce of her own. Her blog provides advice about many facets of divorce, including emotional and legal challenges.

She also has a great Story Catalog, which includes a large collection of stories about men, women, and children who experienced divorces. They offer unique perspectives that are not regularly found on other sites about divorce.

I recently interviewed Mandy Walker on the Divorce and Your Money Show. You can listen to the interview here.

Overall Best Blog for Financial Planning during Divorce: Divorce and Your Money by Shawn Leamon, MBA, CDFA

Shawn started his career as a financial advisor, then branched out into financial planning for divorces. He created “Divorce and Your Money” to help people going through a divorce make smart financial decisions, save money, and protect their assets.

This website is a great resource for financial guidance when facing a divorce. The podcast is free and offers great information on the go, which is a big plus for busy people who do not have time to sit down and read. The blog covers a large range of topics related to financial concerns during divorce.

The site offers resources for everyone going through divorce, as well as coaching for people who want more individual attention (generally for those who have larger assets). He also offers an affordably priced course called Divorce 101: Your Complete Divorce Plan.

(Full Disclosure: The author is affiliated with Divorce and Your Money.)

Runner-Up Blog for Financial Planning during Divorce: Think Financially by Jeff Landers, CDFA

Jeff Landers writes an informative financial blog for women. He is one of the most prolific writers in the divorce industry, is a regular commentator for Forbes, and is the author of several divorce books, including DIVORCE: Think Financially, Not Emotionally® Volume I: What Women Need To Know About Securing Their Financial Future Before, During, and After Divorce (Volume 1).

He also offers consultation services for those with more complex financial issues. If you want information, his books are the best resource.

Is there a blog you love that I missed? Leave a comment below.

Notes: Blogs focused on family law are excluded from this list, as laws vary by state. I have exclusively focused on blogs that help with the emotional and financial elements of divorce.

This post contains affiliate links.

Find this information helpful? Please share it with someone else who needs it.

Shawn Leamon, MBA and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, is the host of theDivorce and Your Money Show, the #1 show on iTunes that discusses personal finance issues in divorce. He is also author of Divorce and Your Money: The No-Nonsense Guide, available on Amazon. Learn more atwww.divorceandyourmoney.com.

Disclaimer: Divorce and Your Money and its affiliates do not provide tax, legal, or accounting advice. In considering this material, you should discuss your individual circumstances with professionals in those areas before making any decisions.

Jan 23, 2017

Surviving Divorce after 50

Divorce is always complicated, but the stakes are even higher when you are getting a so-called “gray divorce.” The divorce rate for people over 50 has doubled over the past decade. And many of them have been married for over 20 years. A big driving force is increasing life expectancy. Today, when you are 50 years old, it is easily conceivable that you will live for another 30, 40, or even 50 years. Even if your relationship with your spouse is decent, do you want another 30 years of the status quo? Or is it time for a change?

Marriages end for all kinds of reasons, including poor behavior, growing apart, boredom, and financial issues. But surviving a divorce after 50 comes with unique challenges:

Retirement Is Coming (or you’re in the thick of it)

Even if you had your retirement under control before you started pursuing a divorce, it is going to look a lot more uncertain after you are facing it. The prospect of losing a large chunk of your savings, perhaps even half of your retirement, can be a daunting realization.

The picture becomes even more complex because retirement assets are some of the most complicated to split during a divorce. Pensions, IRAs, and 401Ks all have different rules and requirements, as well as tax consequences and other complications.

Health Concerns Are at the Forefront

Additional health concerns occur when you are over 50. You may have already experienced them, and others are essential as preventative measures. Your medical expenses have likely increased, and you might even be considering long-term care. To understand what options you will have available to you after the divorce is over, you must be well-informed throughout the process.

You May Be Supporting Adult Children

Your children are probably adults if you are getting divorced later in life. However, they are still an important concern as you proceed through a divorce.

The pain of watching parents split is never easy, no matter how old you are. Your adult children may intellectually understand that all relationships do not last forever, but you must still keep them at the forefront of your concerns. The future of your relationship will depend on it.

In addition, even though your children may be in college or working full-time, you may be accustomed to providing for financial support for them (or your grandchildren). Although divorce may be inevitable, you should realize that every dollar you spend paying attorneys is less support that you may be able to provide your children in the future.

In the coming guide, I am going to walk you through the key issues in a grey divorce, as well as some helpful tips to keep you from making financial mistakes that could hurt you for the rest of your life.

4 Ways to Avoid Devastating Financial Mistakes that Could Derail Your Retirement

1) Choose the Right Method of Divorce

Divorce does not have to be a fight. The traditional litigation method may be the least effective way to split, so you should investigate two alternatives: mediation and collaborative divorce. If you are civil with your spouse, you should seriously consider these methods:

Mediation

Mediation occurs when you hire a neutral third party, such as a retired judge, to help navigate all the issues in your divorce or resolve particular sticking points.  In order for this third part to be the mediator, both you and your spouse have to agree on this person.

You can both still have attorneys help you navigate your wishes and negotiations, but the process is generally less formal and contentious. You, your spouse, the mediator, your attorneys, and any other advisors, such as a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, sit in a conference room and knock out the key issues.

The downside to mediation is that the outcome is non-binding. If you do not come to a resolution, or if one of you changes your mind later, then the process could be waste of time and money. You will have to do your homework, think about the relationship with your spouse, and really consider if mediation will work for your situation.

Collaborative Divorce

Collaborative divorce is another method to seriously consider. It is structured on the premise that trying to fight and “win” is a poor way to resolve divorce. Collaborative divorce is actually a better idea than trying to sit down and solve problems. You and your spouse will work with a team of collaborative divorce professionals, and come up with a more amicable settlement (that is mutually beneficial).

At the outset of the collaborative divorce process, you, your spouse, your attorneys, and other advisors must commit to this process—in order to come to a resolution. If you do not, you may end up having to go to court. Then your attorneys and advisors have to resign from your case.

The goal is to come up with a peaceful resolution to your divorce without a fight, so there is a strong emphasis on mediation and negotiation.

Litigation

Sometimes you have to litigate the divorce. In other words, you and your spouse hire different attorneys to represent your interests. If you do not come to a settlement out of court, a judge will decide those issues for you.

Although litigation is the most well-known kind of divorce, it is also the most expensive. Quite simply, litigation is a fight. In fact, the cost of litigation is directly proportional to the amount of acrimony you have with your spouse. The process can drag along for years, and oftentimes, the only winner is an attorney.

That said, perhaps you and your spouse do not get along. Or there is abuse or another issue that prevents you from using mediation or collaborative divorce. If so, litigation may be the best option for you.

Fighting is Expensive

There are many advantages to mediation or collaborative divorce, particularly when you are older. These processes are usually cheaper, faster, and less formal than the traditional route of litigation. Perhaps more importantly, using one of the alternative methods can help maintain a better long-term relationship with your soon-to-be ex-spouse and your children. The direct combat of litigation can end up bankrupting you, and it can leave a trail of damaged relationships in its wake.

2) Prepare Financially

Understand Your Current Financial Situation

If you were not previously involved in the family finances, now is the time to understand what has been going on. You should collect your tax returns, payroll stubs, regular bills, bank and investment statements, real estate information, and other documentation to gather a comprehensive snapshot of your current situation and your financial history.

When the divorce is over, you will be living independently, and you will need to take charge of your current finances. [Check out this course Divorce 101: Steps to Take Before Divorce to help you as you plan.]

Create a Post-Divorce Budget

Splitting your current lifestyle in two is difficult, and you need to understand all the costs involved.  In addition to expenses related to the divorce, your existing assets will be split in two—and not necessarily 50/50.

In other words, you incur many new expenses to maintain a home of your own: moving costs, new furniture, a new mortgage or rent payments, and new heating, internet, and electricity bills.  As you think about what your needs will be after the divorce, create a budget. Then you can protect your future and understand your needs. You may realize that the lifestyle you were accustomed to while you were married may look different after your divorce.

Open Individual Accounts

As you move on with your life, you will need your own checking and savings accounts, credit cards, and other financial information. The joint accounts you once had will eventually need to be closed, and you will maintain all the assets with just your name on them. If you need credit (such as a mortgage or car loan), your personal credit history will be the determining factor after the divorce. Start now by creating accounts in your name only.

Hire a Team of Divorce Professionals to Help You

Divorce is always a difficult process. But when you are over 50, it is an even higher-stakes endeavor. One of the best ways to protect yourself and your future is to build a qualified team of divorce professionals, who will assist you with the process.

There are three major areas of divorce: legal, financial, and emotional. You should hire a specialist to help you with each area. Given that divorce is a legal transaction, you will need an experienced divorce attorney to help you. To help with the complex financial considerations in divorce, hire a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. A therapist can help you work through the often-devastating emotional effects of divorce, and can keep you focus on the big picture.

Don’t Forget about Social Security

After the age of 62, Social Security can serve as an important source of income for you. After divorce, you may have the option to claim your own Social Security benefits (or those of your ex-spouse’s). To receive your ex-spouse’s Social Security, you must meet certain criteria:

  • You must have been married for 10 years or more.
  • You must be over 62 years old.
  • Your ex-spouse must be eligible to receive Social Security benefits.
  • Benefits you are entitled to receive from your own work must be less than the benefits you would receive from your ex-spouse’s work. These specifics can be determined by going to the Social Security Administration website, and doing the calculation yourself.

Social Security has a lot of rules, and they can be confusing. Here are a few things to keep in mind:

  • Social Security benefits are not marital assets, so you do not need to negotiate them during a settlement.
  • You should learn your spouse’s anticipated Social Security benefit—to see if you should be claiming 50% of his or hers, or claiming your own benefit.
  • If you do claim your spouse’s Social Security benefit, it will not have any direct impact on your spouse—as it is a government-sponsored program.
  • Once you are eligible for benefits, you should start claiming them—since there is no way to catch up on missed benefits.

3) Divide Retirement Assets the Right Way

During divorce, retirement assets are the most complex to divide. There are three general categories of retirement assets: defined contribution plans, defined benefit plans, and individual retirement accounts. We will review each one to help you understand what is involved during divorce.

Defined Contribution Plans

With a defined contribution plan, the employer contributes a certain amount of money to the employee’s retirement plan—throughout the duration of that person’s employment. Upon reaching a certain age, funds can be withdrawn from the policy. The amount of money you have depends on the investment performance of the funds over time.

The most common types of defined contribution plans include the 401(k), 403(b), 457, Thrift, Profit-SharingMoney Purchase, and Employee Stock Ownership plans.

Defined Benefit Plans

Commonly called a pension plan, defined benefit plans guarantee an employee a specified monetary benefit once they reach retirement. The contribution formula takes age, duration of employment, and salary into account. Determining the value of a defined benefit plan is complicated, so the employee’s life expectancy is often a substantial factor in calculating the future value of benefits.

Individual Retirement Accounts (IRAs)

An IRA is one of the most common retirement plans. So participants are allowed to contribute a certain percentage of their annual income and deduct the contributed amount from their taxable income. IRAs have several types, including Tradition, Roth, SIMPLE, and SEP.

Dividing IRAs Is (usually) Easy

Dividing an IRA during divorce is simpler than other retirement plans, because it does not require a QDRO. A simple signed letter or a court order must indicate how to split the assets. And the IRA can be transferred to the other party without any negative tax consequences (when done properly). Future tax obligations will fall under the responsibility of the new IRA owner.

When to get a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO)

In divorce proceedings, couples typically require a QDRO to distribute their defined contribution or benefit plan. As per the divorce decree, the QDRO summarizes the division of a retirement plan.

It must contain the following:

  • Personal Information - Details and mailing address of the retirement plan.
  • Gains and Losses - Due to the investment market’s volatile nature, the potential gains and losses have to be accounted for when splitting a retirement plan. Parties may also decide on a set figure (without considering any potential gains and losses).
  • Valuation Date - Retirement plans are valued at different intervals. In the QDRO, it is necessary to include the valuation date closest to the official divorce date.
  • Surviving Spouse Provisions - To safeguard his or her own interests, it is important to have the former spouse listed as the beneficiary. In the event that the retirement-plan holder dies before the approval of the QDRO, the former spouse would still be entitled to a portion of the plan.

The QDRO is complicated and requires an expert who has experience drafting this agreements. If you are going to need one, present the QDRO to the plan manager long before the completion of divorce. Then you can ensure that you have covered the proper details, so you will avoid hang-ups later.

4) Review Your Estate Planning and Medical Coverage

When divorcing after 50, one of the most complex areas to consider is how to handle estate planning and insurance issues. Each of these issues could easily span a book (or an entire career), so we will only focus on the high-level concerns you should think about during divorce.

Contemplating your mortality is never fun, but it is an essential part of protecting your wishes.

Estate Planning

After divorce, you will need to make sure you update your essential estate-planning documents. You and your estate attorney should investigate creating the following documents: a will, durable power of attorney, and healthcare proxy. You should also check and update the beneficiary designations on all of your accounts and insurance policies to ensure that they meet your wishes. If you have never looked at or prepared these documents before, the time after your divorce is a great place to start.

You probably do not want to end up in either one of these situations: your ex-spouse ends up receiving a large chunk of your assets, or is responsible for making essential medical decisions for you.

Life insurance can also play a key role in the estate-planning process, as it can provide your family with quick access to funds upon your death. And it can also play a role in minimizing estate taxes.

Medical Coverage

Medical costs and medical insurance only get more important with age. With the high costs of medical expenses, health insurance is one of the most important assets you can have. If you are covered by your spouse’s insurance plan when you start a divorce process, it is time to think about how that will affect your health insurance coverage in the future.

You can include health insurance coverage as part of the divorce decree—particularly if you were not working outside the home, and have easy access to health insurance after the divorce.

The Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act (COBRA) was created to protect employees and their dependents from losing group-insurance coverage because of divorce or job loss. Therefore, under COBRA, you may be eligible for temporary insurance coverage through your spouse’s employer. COBRA has eligibility conditions. For instance, the company in question must employ at least 20 people. But if it is available, you may continue coverage for up to 36 months (at your own expense).

Other options to consider include the health insurance marketplace, Medicare, or Medigap. Medical coverage is a complex subject, so make sure you investigate your options—sooner, rather than later

Parting Thoughts

When facing divorce after 50, half of your assets (and your whole financial future) are at stake. So you need to make sure you focus on your long-term financial security. You should think about your retirement. How are you going to have enough cash for daily living? Know that the lifestyle you lived before the divorce will not necessarily continue.

The decisions you make today will affect you for the rest of your life. So prepare well, and avoid making financial mistakes you will regret.

Find this information helpful? Please share it with someone else who needs it.

Shawn Leamon, MBA and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, is the host of the Divorce and Your Money Show, the #1 show on iTunes that discusses personal finance issues in divorce. He is also author of Divorce and Your Money: The No-Nonsense Guide, available on Amazon. Learn more at www.divorceandyourmoney.com.

Disclaimer: Divorce and Your Money and its affiliates do not provide tax, legal, or accounting advice. In considering this material, you should discuss your individual circumstances with professionals in those areas before making any decisions.

Jan 19, 2017

This article was originally published on BlogHer.com. Read the original article here.

Starting the search for a brand new divorce attorney can be stressful and overwhelming. Just a quick glance through the phone book reveals countless options, but how will you know which attorney is the right one for your divorce? You should know what you are looking for from the very first phone call and know what to expect from your initial consultation meeting. Head into that first meeting educated about what services they can provide and what you believe will work best for your divorce.

A relationship with your attorney is the same as any other business relationship you maintain. Can you work with this person? Do you actually want to work with this person? Making key decisions such as this one at the very beginning of the process is far better than making them six months into your divorce proceedings.

When you are beginning a relationship with a new divorce attorney, here are a few tips for determining if they are the right fit for you:

1) Are they experienced and persuasive?

When you first meet an attorney, take note of whether or not you feel they have a particularly powerful presence. Are they persuasive enough to represent your interests and persuade the opposing counsel? This character trait cannot be underestimated when you are initiating a business relationship with an attorney. After all, your settlement is uncertain if they cannot convince opposing counsel or a judge of all that you deserve.

Another key characteristic of having a successful divorce attorney and client relationship is their experience level with family law. Ask questions regarding how many years they have been practicing family law, what other trades they serve, and how many divorces they process each year. You are keeping an eye out for an attorney that is highly specialized in family law and divorces, not a “jack of all trades” who dabbles in family law, construction law, and seven other specialties.

The amount of experience they have can be a good predictor of whether or not they have enough knowledge of the laws surrounding divorce to handle your case quickly, efficiently, and ensure that you receive all you are entitled. When they are highly specialized, they should have a greater amount of education regarding the laws and more experience in putting it into practice – both of which are great attributes for you as the client.

You also need to consider their experience and relationship with your spouse’s attorney, if you are privy to who that may be. A hostile relationship between your attorney and the opposing counsel could take the focus off your proceedings and shift it toward their relationship and motives with the other attorney.

2) How will you interact with them?

Customer service is a critical consideration, beginning with the very first phone call. Is the receptionist polite and informative? Does the attorney return your phone call in a timely manner? Answering either of those questions in the negative could be an indicator that you will not be pleased with the customer service they will provide throughout your proceedings.

Ask what the policy is regarding your communication with them. You should know what days they spend in the office, and what timeframe you can expect them to return your phone calls and emails within. If they spend several days each week out of the office, inquire whether someone else in the office will be well-versed with the specifics of your case in case you have pressing questions when the attorney is not available.

Furthermore, how will they charge for the work and communication that is involved in your case? You should have a detailed account of how the billing rates work, including if they differ among categories such as legal advice, filing paperwork, and making copies. Knowing how they count the minutes that you are in communication with them is an important consideration as well. Does your attorney charge per hour, in fifteen minute increments, or do they tally up each individual minute? The billing schedule can make a substantial impact on what the final bill for your divorce will be.

3) What service options do they provide?

Entering into an attorney-client relationship, you should already have a fair idea of what you believe you will need for your proceedings. The first question might be whether the attorney or their firm has relationships with other qualified professionals who can assist in trickier situations. Do they have a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, forensic account, mediator, or other attorneys they can consult with in the event of needing outside advice and opinions from specific experts? When your attorney manages close relationships with other trades and services, it is far more convenient for you to reach out for additional assistance if necessary.

You should also inquire whether they offer “unbundled” legal services or mediation. This allows you to cut some of the costs associated with divorce proceedings by only paying for the specific services that you are in need of. Whether you desire just legal advice, someone to help draft and file documents, or whether you need someone to manage all of the proceedings from start to finish, knowing what your options are can be helpful.

This even allows you to determine if you want to make the switch to a more do-it-yourself approach if you see your bill rising faster than you anticipate. This is a good time to begin asking questions about what you can do yourself to speed the process along and save on the costs. Are they open to a more do-it-yourself arrangement with you when it comes to documentation or filing paperwork? Asking upfront can save you money in the end if you decide that you are capable of handling some of these issues on your own.

Come to the meeting prepared.

While not a requirement, it does not hurt to come to the meeting prepared with the important documents that you will need to discuss. These could include a selection of recent tax documents, paystubs, bank statements, proof of adultery or abuse, and more. It may even be helpful to have your marriage license and important documents relating to you children (health papers, psychological papers, addresses, etc.).

By bringing all of the additional documentation that you believe is pertinent to your case, you are granting the attorney a clear look at what marital assets and liabilities will need to be divided. What do you have in retirement accounts, real estate, savings, and investments? Looking at the bigger picture may allow them to make clearer determinations of what the next steps and plans might look like.

Before you leave your initial consultation, you should receive some proposed game plan or plan of action from the attorney regarding what they believe the best steps to take are. You will need to evaluate whether you agree with their evaluation, especially if they believe it could end up going to trial. If you believe that your divorce could be settled more amicably (and for less cost), then you might want to reconsider your relationship with this attorney.

Because this is a significant business relationship that you will be a part of for the coming months, you should consider meeting with multiple attorneys if you are not satisfied with the initial consultation. There is nothing wrong with moving back to the drawing board before you commit to an attorney for the long haul. You never know how long your divorce proceedings could last, so be certain that you are satisfied with your attorney’s experience, qualifications, customer service, and cost. 

Find this information helpful? Please share it with someone else who needs it.

Shawn Leamon, MBA and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, is the host of the Divorce and Your Money Show, the #1 show on iTunes that discusses personal finance issues in divorce. He is also author of Divorce and Your Money: The No-Nonsense Guide, available on Amazon. Learn more at www.divorceandyourmoney.com.

Disclaimer: Divorce and Your Money and its affiliates do not provide tax, legal, or accounting advice. In considering this material, you should discuss your individual circumstances with professionals in those areas before making any decisions.

Jan 12, 2017

12 Ways to Avoid Common Divorce Settlement Mistakes in 2017: How to Get a Divorce Without Losing Everything

Approximately 95 percent of divorces are settled out of court. If you or your attorney make a mistake during the divorce settlement, it can affect you for the rest of your life.

Your divorce settlement agreement will cover three main areas:

  • Dividing property
  • Spousal support
  • Child support and custody

In 2017, you will need to know what to ask for in your divorce settlement agreement to avoid big regrets later. Shown below are twelve ways to financially get the most out of your divorce.

1) Keep the Big Picture in Mind

Divorce is complicated on many levels: emotionally, legally, and financially. Facing the end of “happily ever after” can be gut wrenching. Given the complexities involved, it can be difficult to stay focused on the big picture. Treat divorce like a business transaction by determining your goals during and after the divorce so that the decisions you make today will set you up for the best position in the future. Before you start a fight about the kitchen chairs, make sure you view every decision during divorce through this lens: “Will this be helpful in the long run?” By staying focused on the big picture, you can avoid small squabbles that will end up being more hurtful than helpful.

2) Hire Your Own Attorney

You should not share the same attorney with your spouse. Perhaps your spouse has suggested that you share an attorney to save money. Nevertheless, as you try to decide what should be included in a divorce settlement, it is imperative that you have an experienced family-law attorney to stand up for your interests. Otherwise, you could regret it later.

3) Look for Hidden Assets

Do you suspect that your spouse might be hiding money from you? During divorce, it is an all-too-common occurrence. Failing to look for hidden assets can cost you a lot of money that you might be rightly entitled to receive.

Your spouse could hide assets from you by

  • transferring them to a friend;
  • reporting a lower income and higher expenses;
  • creating fake or inflated debt;
  • withdrawing a lot of money and putting it into a safe deposit box;
  • overpaying taxes to the IRS;
  • undervaluing assets, such as antiques and collectibles.

If you suspect that your spouse is hiding assets from you, you should consider having a private investigator or forensic accountant review your financial details.  Hiding assets during a divorce is a crime that has penalties. You need to protect yourself if you have any suspicions.

4) Know How Much You Owe

Debt is a highly contentious part of divorce, and it is one of the common reasons why marriages end. Debt includes credit cards, any other form of credit, mortgages, and any loans.

Early in the divorce process, check your credit report to see every account with your name on it. If your name appears on an account, you are legally responsible for it—regardless of what your divorce settlement states. To avoid a detrimental impact on your credit, keep your payments current on joint accounts.

In divorce, you need to plan, do your homework, know how much you owe, and stay on top of any outstanding debt both during and after the divorce process. Poor credit can keep you from getting a mortgage or a car loan—or just moving on with your life.

5) Find Out What Your Assets Are Really Worth

It is not always easy to determine the value of certain large assets. For example, if your home has not been recently evaluated by a certified appraiser, you may not know how much the home is currently worth due to fluctuations in prices. Determining the value of the home is not as simple as logging in to an online appraisal website, such as Zillow or Redfin. Furthermore, the value of jewelry, art, antiques, and other collectibles is difficult to assess, so it may be wise to get an expert opinion.

One common negotiation tactic that your spouse may use is attempting to mislead you about the value of assets, which can lead to a one-sided divorce settlement. Do not let that happen to you. Properly appraise any valuable assets you have questions about.

6) Learn the Rules of Retirement Plans

Pensions, an IRA, a 401(k), and other types of retirement plans have their own set of rules. They also have specific procedures you need to follow during divorce. If you are deciding whether or not you should keep a retirement plan, you need to know the various financial and legal complexities involved.

For example, many defined benefit and contribution plans require a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) to split the retirement plan. Failing to follow the necessary rules can cause you to have a variety of post-divorce headaches.

7) Evaluate the Liquidity of Assets

Not all assets can be immediately sold. Some may take months or even years before you can receive the cash you need. For example, if you want money from your home, it may take months to sell or refinance. Investment and retirement accounts may require different time periods, ranging from a few days to several years before you can access the funds in the account.

For example, hedge funds and private equity funds may have multiyear lockups that prevent withdrawals from your account. For every asset you are thinking about keeping during divorce, you need to know how hard it will be to liquidate when you need the funds. Otherwise, you could find yourself needing money but not being able to access it.

8) Realize Tax Consequences

Taxes can have a major impact on your divorce settlement. If you receive spousal support, that money is considered your taxable income, but if you are paying spousal support, those payments are tax deducible. On the other hand, child support is not taxable for the recipient or the payer.

When evaluating your home, investment accounts, and other assets, taxes get even more complicated.  If you do not understand the tax consequences of your settlement, you could find yourself in an unwanted position: $1,000 is only worth $500 after you pay your taxes.  To ensure that taxes will not take too much of a bite out of your divorce settlement, consult a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) or CPA.

9) Understand Every Word in Your Divorce Settlement

Divorce settlements are often long, complex documents. They have many legal terms and phrases, which will affect you for the rest of your life.

You might be unclear about part of the settlement or have a question about its significance. If so, be sure to ask your attorney for further clarification. The settlement may have a mistake, or a clause may not accurately reflect your best wishes.

Asking questions—no matter how small—can save you a lot of regret and heartache.

10) Determine if You Can Afford the Settlement

Is the settlement something you can afford over the long term? Even though the settlement may make sense over the next year, it may not make sense in five, ten, or twenty years. As part of the process, you should create an appropriate budget for your life as a single person, which includes your estimated income, expenses, and taxes.

You should determine if the divorce settlement allows you to live comfortably in the future or if you will need to make lifestyle adjustments. To make sure it is financially feasible for you, have a CDFA help you analyze both the short- and long-term implications of the settlement.

11) Secure Support Payments with Insurance

Spousal support, child support, and other divorce settlement payments can occur over the course of many years (and in some cases, a lifetime). What happens if your soon to be ex-spouse unexpectedly becomes disabled or passes away but still owes you support?

This situation can cause a host of financial complications, so you need to protect yourself. One method is to secure your divorce settlement with life insurance and/or disability insurance.

If your ex-spouse is no longer able to make payments for some reason, you will then have insurance that can take care of any unpaid support. Many people fail to utilize this option. Should something unforeseen happen to your ex-spouse, you will have a good layer of protection.

12) Create a Post-Divorce Financial Plan

Even though you have signed the divorce settlement, you may not have finished the divorce process. You will have to make sure that everything occurs during the settlement—as you agreed.

For example, if your spouse is supposed to remove your name from a joint account, you must follow up to ensure that it has been removed in a timely manner. If you are supposed to receive part of a retirement plan at some point, you need to mark your calendar accordingly; then you can ensure that you do not forget about it later on.

Your tax status will change after the divorce, so you should consult a CPA to help you navigate your tax situation. You should sit down with a financial planner and plan for retirement—adjusting for your new life.

 

Find this information helpful? Please share it with someone else who needs it.

Shawn Leamon, MBA and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, is the host of the Divorce and Your Money Show, the #1 show on iTunes that discusses personal finance issues in divorce. He is also author of Divorce and Your Money: The No-Nonsense Guide, available on Amazon. Learn more at www.divorceandyourmoney.com.

Disclaimer: Divorce and Your Money and its affiliates do not provide tax, legal, or accounting advice. In considering this material, you should discuss your individual circumstances with professionals in those areas before making any decisions.

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