Info

Divorce and Your Money - #1 Divorce Podcast

Visit us at www.DivorceAndYourMoney.com Divorce and Your Money is your guide to avoiding costly mistakes during divorce. Shawn Leamon, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and MBA, wants to help you learn the fundamentals of how to get a divorce. Whether you are looking for an uncontested divorce, a do it yourself divorce, or an online divorce, resources are available to offer guidance. Through his divorce podcast and divorce blog, Shawn offers his professional opinion on the best ways to handle the end of your marriage. He covers topics including how to file for divorce, divorcing a narcissist, and finding the best divorce attorney. Even tricky subjects such as a “what is a QDRO?” and “is alimony taxable?” are tackled through these venues. If you need to know what the first steps are or what you should do to head to trial during litigation, you can find resources to give you a step-by-step guide to what comes next. Think of his advice as an alternative to divorce support groups where you can find exactly what you need when you need it. He offers one-on-one divorce coaching to give you a solid grasp on the decisions that are bound to affect your financial future. Before you have a divorce decree in hand, you will likely go through some type of divorce mediation. For any spouse saying, “I want a divorce,” you need to make sure that you are getting the financial future you are entitled to. Do not allow yourself to be blinded by the emotional, legal, and financial burden that divorce can become. Instead, take control of your situation with sage wisdom to help all individuals make better financial decisions for their independent future. If you find yourself asking “where are the best divorce lawyers near me?”, Shawn can help you to recognize the best of the best. Whether you need a divorce in Texas, a divorce in Florida, or a divorce in New York, you will have all the knowledge you need to find the best team of professionals to assist you. You can start from a place of being legally separated or once you have already started to file for divorce using free divorce papers or an attorney. No matter where you or your marriage may be in the process, Shawn Leamon has professional advice to offer your unique situation. A simple no fault divorce or a high-stakes power struggle are all areas he has vast experience with during his work outside of Divorce and Your Money. Let his advice be a guide to help you get all that you need for a secure financial future in your divorce records. It will not make a difference whether you are getting a divorce in Ohio or a divorce in California if you are following the basic principles set out through Divorce and Your Money’s divorce blog, divorce podcast, and divorce coaching.
RSS Feed Subscribe in Apple Podcasts
2019
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2018
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2017
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


All Episodes
Archives
Now displaying: Page 1
Mar 16, 2017

This was originally published on Divorce and Your Money here

Divorcing a Narcissist is Hard

Have you ever thought that your soon-to-be ex might be a little self-centered? There may be more truth to the statement than you ever thought possible. Unfortunately, divorcing a narcissist — even a self-proclaimed one — is one of the most challenging topics for an impending divorce.

Roughly 6% of all individuals in the United States will be diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders published by the American Psychiatric Association, there’s such a thing as being too preoccupied with your own self-interests.

This manual establishes set guidelines and symptoms used by professionals in the diagnostic assessment of patients for Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Here are a few of the criteria that people must meet to earn this label:

  • Having an exaggerated sense of self-importance
  • Expecting to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it
  • Exaggerating achievements and talents
  • Having a preoccupation with fantasies regarding success, power, brilliance, beauty, or the perfect mate
  • Believing that they’re superior and can only be understood by (or associate with) equally special people
  • Needing constant admiration
  • Possessing a sense of entitlement
  • Expecting special favors (and having an unquestioning compliance with those expectations)
  • Taking advantage of others for personal gain
  • Lacking compassion or willingness to recognize needs and feelings of others
  • Envying others and believing that others envy them
  • Having an arrogant or haughty manner

The list of formal criteria to receive this diagnosis is relatively lengthy. In many cases, your spouse may present some, but not all, of the symptoms listed above. But the question remains: How do you deal with your divorce when your spouse tends to behave like a narcissist?

Why a Narcissist Makes Divorce Difficult

The unfortunate part of being married to a narcissist is that you already know how controlling and manipulative they can be. Your spouse may truly believe that they’re a victim in every situation, which leads them to act without compassion or regard for your feelings.

Their victim mindset may bring about other unpleasant behaviors as well. Bullying is likely to be a key tactic that your spouse will cling to, especially as you move towards settlement negotiations. Their sense of entitlement and arrogant attitude leaves them feeling justified in requesting more than their fair share of your marital assets.

Reaching an agreement with an uncooperative, entitled spouse can be extremely frustrating and challenging. But if you give into their unreasonable demands, you could find yourself on financially shaky footing for the future. It becomes even more important to assemble a team of experienced communicators and negotiators, especially when your spouse knows how to manipulate a situation.

How to Effectively Handle a Narcissist

Prepare your paperwork.

Before proceeding, make sure that you have access to every bank statement, asset statement, and documentation regarding investment income. Any information available about your current financial situation should be closely reviewed and filed away in case you need it. A narcissistic spouse has the potential to be extremely controlling. They may restrict your access to pertinent documentation after you file for divorce.

Having all of your paperwork organized and available is critical to help your Certified Divorce Financial Analyst or divorce attorney realistically view your financial status. Then you can help them create a fair settlement to get you all that you are truly entitled to.

Find the right divorce attorney.

When dealing with an uncooperative, narcissistic spouse, you need a divorce attorney that has strong communication skills. If your case ever reaches trial, they should have the ability to persuade a judge of your right to marital assets.

An attorney who is lacking in communication skills may also allow a narcissistic spouse to bully them. If your attorney is unable to convince the judge or stand up for your rights during the settlement negotiations, it could cost you the security of a firm financial future. As a result of their poor negotiation and communication skills, you will not receive all that you are entitled to.

Be prepared for the additional expense associated with hiring the best divorce attorneys and teams in your area. Their advanced skillset and knowledge can significantly cost more than an inexperienced or ineffective divorce attorney.

Take care of your emotional health.

Divorce is rarely a pleasant experience, but when your spouse struggles with a narcissistic personality disorder, it can be incredibly taxing on your emotional and mental health. One of the first steps in successfully divorcing your narcissistic spouse is hiring a therapist to help you sort through your own issues, including those stemming from emotional, verbal, or physical abuse inflicted by your spouse.

By taking responsibility for your emotional health, you can gain a feeling of control over the tumultuous times that surround you. You will be better prepared to head into your settlement negotiations and divorce proceedings with a greater sense of calm and preparation.

Divorcing a narcissist is possible.

Divorce is already hard, but divorcing a narcissist makes the entire process even more difficult. You need to take the appropriate amount of time to prepare yourself for the challenge before you file for divorce. Advance preparation is key to maintaining a feeling of control and balance as new situations arise throughout the process.

By preparing your paperwork, hiring the best team, and taking care of your emotional health, you are setting yourself up for success to handle the additional challenges that this unique situation can present. Be sure you are ready to fight for your financial future and freedom from a narcissistic, overbearing spouse.

 

Find this information helpful? Share it with someone who needs it.

Shawn Leamon, MBA, CDFA is the host of the “Divorce and Your Money Show” and Managing Partner of LaGrande Global, with offices in Dallas, New York and Hanover, New Hampshire.

 

Want more free divorce advice and tips?

Subscribe to the Divorce and Your Money Podcast, trusted by over 50,000 people across the United States.

0 Comments
Adding comments is not available at this time.