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Divorce and Your Money - #1 Divorce Podcast

Visit us at www.DivorceAndYourMoney.com Divorce and Your Money is your guide to avoiding costly mistakes during divorce. Shawn Leamon, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and MBA, wants to help you learn the fundamentals of how to get a divorce. Whether you are looking for an uncontested divorce, a do it yourself divorce, or an online divorce, resources are available to offer guidance. Through his divorce podcast and divorce blog, Shawn offers his professional opinion on the best ways to handle the end of your marriage. He covers topics including how to file for divorce, divorcing a narcissist, and finding the best divorce attorney. Even tricky subjects such as a “what is a QDRO?” and “is alimony taxable?” are tackled through these venues. If you need to know what the first steps are or what you should do to head to trial during litigation, you can find resources to give you a step-by-step guide to what comes next. Think of his advice as an alternative to divorce support groups where you can find exactly what you need when you need it. He offers one-on-one divorce coaching to give you a solid grasp on the decisions that are bound to affect your financial future. Before you have a divorce decree in hand, you will likely go through some type of divorce mediation. For any spouse saying, “I want a divorce,” you need to make sure that you are getting the financial future you are entitled to. Do not allow yourself to be blinded by the emotional, legal, and financial burden that divorce can become. Instead, take control of your situation with sage wisdom to help all individuals make better financial decisions for their independent future. If you find yourself asking “where are the best divorce lawyers near me?”, Shawn can help you to recognize the best of the best. Whether you need a divorce in Texas, a divorce in Florida, or a divorce in New York, you will have all the knowledge you need to find the best team of professionals to assist you. You can start from a place of being legally separated or once you have already started to file for divorce using free divorce papers or an attorney. No matter where you or your marriage may be in the process, Shawn Leamon has professional advice to offer your unique situation. A simple no fault divorce or a high-stakes power struggle are all areas he has vast experience with during his work outside of Divorce and Your Money. Let his advice be a guide to help you get all that you need for a secure financial future in your divorce records. It will not make a difference whether you are getting a divorce in Ohio or a divorce in California if you are following the basic principles set out through Divorce and Your Money’s divorce blog, divorce podcast, and divorce coaching.
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Aug 10, 2017

Divorce is painful; there is no question about that. It is a devastating shakeup of any life. The more painful it is, the more people want to know: “How long does it take to get over it?”

The answer to this question depends on several factors:

·      The length of the marriage

·      How close you were

·      Which spouse filed for divorce

·      Whether or not infidelity was involved

However, the length of time is ultimately up to you.

Divorce is an adjustment. You have to find a way to adapt to your new reality. Oftentimes, people want the pain to be gone quicker than the natural process allows, which could actually result in the process taking longer.

Here are some tips to help make the process work for you. Then you can hopefully move on, and find happiness in your new life faster.

Grieving Is Essential

To move on from any painful ending, you have to do the work. If you keep your emotions hidden or ignore the grief from any life change, it will only makes things worse in the long run. And more often than not, you will remain stuck.

Let yourself feel the pain. When you feel like crying, find a quiet place as soon as you can, and let the tears out. Every tear you shed is a release of emotion, and grief helps you slowly move forward as you let more and more out.

Take it one moment at a time. A huge change like divorce is incredibly difficult and painful. We are creatures of habit, and when something obliterates the life that we have become comfortable with, it creates a yearning for the life that we once knew. And that yearning makes adjusting to a new life much more difficult.

The only way to get through the whole process is to get yourself through each moment. One moment leads to another, and pretty soon, you will realize that you have made it through days, then weeks, then months. Your stamina and your ability to adapt to your new life will increase during each moment. Then one day, you will realize that it hurts less, and that hope has returned to your life. You will have the ability to be happy again.

Do not forget to remind yourself that a relationship takes two people, so any divorce is not the sole fault of one person. Since pain gives your viewpoint tunnel-vision, we tend to forget that there are two people involved, and nobody is perfect.

Ask for Help

Talk to friends about what you are going through. They can help you move through your grief by validating your pain, helping you find a healthy perspective, and taking your mind off things.

See a counselor or therapist. They are trained to help you find healthy coping mechanisms, which are the most valuable takeaways of therapy. They can also help make sure that you do not fall into depression.

Seek advice from a Divorce Coach who has worked with all kinds of divorce situations. They can help you avoid disastrous situations, save money, and find the best ways to heal. As an objective observer, your Divorce Coach will be able to validate you because they specialize in what you are going through.

Find an Escape

This advice does not include doing anything careless or reckless, but it will help you to take a break from your grief every once in a while. Your life cannot be all about your divorce. While you should not let a break parlay into long-term avoidance, it can be a good way to adapt to your post-divorce life.

Remember, it is good to take your mind off of your divorce, and a break can help you get through each moment as you build your stamina in your newly single life.

Here are some ways to temporarily escape your divorce:

  • Going to dinner with friends is a simple way to get your mind off your divorce.
  • Meditation has been proven to keep your brain in a positive state.
  • Go on a short vacation, by yourself or with friends. It is a good way to hit the restart button.
  • Hobbies and interests will be hard to maintain, but if you can, try to keep up with them. They are healthy ways to give your brain a break.
  • Exercise raises the endorphins and makes you feel better about yourself. This tactic makes it easier to stick with healthy coping mechanisms that a therapist and/or Divorce Coach will teach you. It leads to a higher sense of self-worth, which will also help speed up your recovery from divorce.

It is understandable that you would want to know a timeline: When will the pain caused by your divorce stop? However, it is not easy to gain the knowledge about how long it takes to get over a divorce. But if you do the work, stay in a healthy place, and keep putting one foot in front of the other, you will find yourself in a better mood before you know it.

Shawn Leamon, MBA, CDFA is the host of the “Divorce and Your Money Show” and Managing Partner of LaGrande Global, with offices in Dallas, New York and Hanover, New Hampshire.

 

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